Footprints On The Heart: Building a Family
by RK9
Summary: The founding fic in the Footprints On The Heart series. An AU fic based on the Magnificent 7 Little Britches AU. Well, everyone always says the team is a family in all ways but blood, don't they?
1. Finding the Lost Lambs

**Disclaimer: **I don't own, please don't sue.

**Author's notes: **Inspired by the Magnificent 7 Little Britches AU. This story is obviously AU, and does NOT contain slash or gay pairings of any kind – also like the Mag 7 AU universe. If you've read the Little Britches AU, you'll understand why I'm warning you all first. The first chapter has been betaed by the wonderful kristanci, but due to some RL problems, she was unable to beta the next few chapters - would anyone like to volunteer?

As usual, if you don't like the drink, don't spoil the pot for others who might enjoy it. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows, and spam will be fed to my dog. I do, however, welcome constructive criticism and comments. Every author should. :)

And yes – I miss Gideon, I truly do. For the series itself, have only watched up to season 3 – but anyway, it's AU, so I don't care if he and Rossi are both here.

**Edited to add: **Normal text - present day

_Italics - past events_ (or quotes)

**Important note: **If enough people like this idea, I'm hoping to make this an open AU for other authors to write in, exactly like the Mag 7 Little Britches AU. However, I can only open up my sandbox for others to play in AFTER this, the founding story, is completed. For more info on the Mag 7 LB AU: http : / / www . blackraptor . net / Joy / LB / LBLinks . htm

Feel free to get in touch with me if you're interested! ^.^

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**Chapter 1**

_Wherever a man turns, he can find someone who needs him. ~ Albert Schweitzer_

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Aaron Hotchner wasn't very sure why he was here. They'd caught their unsub, packed up, prepared to leave – and something had made him ask his team if they minded making a stop here, at the hospital, before they went home. They hadn't – in fact, he was pretty certain that they understood, far better than he did, the reason why he'd been compelled to come here, to visit... what could he call them? The unsub's last three victims?

This unsub had been a very sick man, who had been rejected many times in life, but more recently by his girlfriend, who had accused him of being a terrible father to his son. She had no way of knowing that Benjamin Harrington's warped ideas of fatherhood came from his own abusive father, who had taught and brainwashed him into thinking that the only way to show love to kids was to discipline them constantly, even when they didn't need it. In Harrington's mind, this had translated to the need to prove that he truly _was_ a good father, and he'd kidnapped several kids to show it. His 'parental methods', however, had left two of the children dead. One was literally beaten to death, one was in a coma, and the rest were badly injured and would be severely scarred, emotionally and mentally. It made the hardened agent cringe inside and think of his own son, Jack, who was with his now ex-wife Haley. He could maybe see Jack every other weekend unless a case they caught was out of state.

He didn't have time for this, he didn't have the energy or resources to care about three more kids now. Didn't he have enough on his mind?

But these last three – they'd captured his heart somehow, and the hearts of his team, and he remembered how he'd first noticed them…

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_The Chicago skyline was beautiful to look at, even when cut off here and there by several brick-red buildings along the line, and it would have been something the two FBI agents could have enjoyed if they hadn't been in their department-issued vehicles and in the middle of a stake-out._

"_Anything, Prentiss?" _

_The dark-haired agent looked back at her boss and gave a negating shake of her head. "Nothing, Hotch. Darn it. We know this guy is targeting the schools, and he'll want to find a new child to replace Jodi Benton soon, so where is he?"_

"_Gideon and Rossi are coming up with nothing on their end as well," sighed Hotch, resisting the urge to drum his fingers on the steering wheel of their nondescript black SUV, which was pretty much standard issue no matter which city they found themselves in. _

"_Detective Redding says their school has pretty much cleared out for the day," Prentiss informed him, closing her phone. "Do we wait?"_

"_At least until all the kids are gone," Hotch decided – if they couldn't catch their unsub, they could at least make sure all the kids at this school made it back safely. Prentiss nodded, eyes on the few kids who were still hanging around, around waiting for their parents still under the care of the teachers._

_He wasn't sure why, but the sight of the three children who were waiting by some bushes at the other end of the school's front steps caught his attention. Maybe it was their body language; it was strange, different from the other kids who were fidgeting and impatient, or hanging around talking to teachers and friends. These three were held back, striving not to be noticed – and at least two of them were much too young to even be attending this school. Hotch's first thought was that they were the younger siblings of the other students, perhaps looking for their brothers and sisters – but then he realized that they were sticking together, huddling close, and seemed to be waiting for everyone to leave. _

_Taking out the binoculars from the glove compartment, he trained them on the kids, drawing Emily's attention to them too. _

"_What is it, Hotch?" _

"_I'm not sure," he replied, distractedly. "Something's off."_

_The oldest of the trio, a boy of perhaps eight or nine years, was chocolate-skinned and brown eyed, with very short but thick black hair. He was scanning the crowd, eyes intense as he watched the kids and teachers. The other two were a boy and a girl, both blonde, though the boy's hair was leaning towards a light brown shade. This boy was younger, perhaps six years old, and the girl looked around the same age. _

_Who were they, why were they here, and what or who were they waiting for?_

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"Excuse me?" Pausing for a moment at the nurses' station, he got their attention and asked for the room he'd last seen them in. The woman behind the desk shook her head.

"The little boy is out of surgery now, sir," she informed him. "He's been moved to the children's wing, since he's out of danger, and one of our pediatricians is keeping an eye on him."

"And his friends?" Hotch hadn't seen Gideon approaching, but he heard the intensity of the other man's question. "The other little boy, and the girl?"

The nurse smiled. "Oh, those two. They're with their friend, trying and failing to stay quiet and well-behaved. They refused to leave him, and in the end it just became easier to keep them together. Something about a promise they made."

Hotch smiled. He knew all about that promise…

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_They didn't scatter when he approached them, and he saw a glint of sharp intelligence in the oldest boy's eyes that gave him an idea why. Only those who didn't belong would run when approached, so if they wanted to appear as if they did, they couldn't run. He watched with interest as the younger two quietly moved behind the brown-skinned boy, who eyed him warily, standing straight and tall. Up close, he looked rather grubby, but was otherwise unafraid. _

"_Hey there," Emily addressed them first. "May I ask who you are?" _

"_You may," blurted the brown-haired boy at the very back, and now they could see he was very skinny and small, with thick, half-broken glasses and hair that was a bit on the long side. The oldest boy scowled. _

"_Don't say anything else," he said, and the little boy fell silent, his eyes dropping to the ground as he scuffed his worn-looking shoes in the dirt. _

"_Well, she asked," he mumbled, and the little girl giggled. _

"_He's right," Emily amended quickly, "I should have been more careful with my grammar. What I meant was – what are your names?" _

_The boy eyed her, and shrugged. The younger two looked at him, but this time, didn't seem inclined to speak since the other boy wasn't saying anything. _

"_We gotta go. Our parents are waiting around the corner," mumbled the boy at last. "Mine – and theirs. See ya." _

_They left together, none of them looking back, and though they didn't realize it, their voices trailed back, carrying on the wind._

"_They won't take us back, will they, Derek?"_

"_No. They can't. They don't know who we are. That's why I said not to tell anyone anything unless I said it's okay."_

"_That man sure was scary. He didn't smile even once."_

"_Don't worry guys. I promised you I'd take care of you, and that we'll stick together."_

"_Promise?"  
_

"_Until forever?"  
_

"_I promise. C'mon, let's go back." _

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They'd figured by then that the kids had been lying about having parents right around the corner, but then Gideon had called saying that all the kids at the other schools had gone home and they should reconvene at the station. With nothing else to do, they'd agreed and headed back. Later, after finding out that the unsub had been listening to the police scanners and had known they would be watching the schools, they'd worked together on a geographical profile and located a possible nest where Harrington might be hiding with the children.

"This must be the room," Gideon broke in, as they came to a stop outside the room they'd been directed to. Hotch nodded. There was a strange dread in his stomach, and he both wanted to enter… but was afraid to. Unbidden, memories came again, slightly fragmented yet clear, and he went back to yesterday evening, in Chicago's warehouse district…

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"_On my signal, we go in. If that bastard is in there somewhere, or the children, we get them out and take him down. Understood?" _

_The men nodded to Redding, who was leading the SWAT team into the warehouses where they suspected that the unsub was hiding. If the unsub himself was not present, they believed they would at least find the childen.__ Rossi and Prentiss were preparing to follow them, and Gideon was backing up Hotch today. They were ready. _

_Then Prentiss stopped. "Hotch. Look." _

_It was the boy from yesterday, and the little girl was with him. The girl was crying, and the older child had his arm around her and was gently hugging her, saying something to her. They were right in front of the warehouse, and hadn't seen the police yet. _

_Hotchner didn't hesitate. Handing his gun to Gideon, who was giving him a look that clearly had a question in it, he said, "I'm going to get them out of there. Cover me." _

_Gideon raised an eyebrow, but nodded and allowed him to move slowly past the police barrier, heading straight for the kids. The boy's head shot up and this time, he looked scared, and made as though he would run, the girl with him. Hotch held up his hands, revealing that he was unarmed, trying to show that he wasn't looking to hurt them – though he had an idea that he should have removed his vest before trying this, with its striking white letters announcing to the world that he was FBI._

"_We're leaving, mister, we won't be in your way," the boy said quickly, pulling the girl closer to himself. She looked up tearfully at him and sniffled. _

"_But – Derek…"_

"_We're just going," he repeated, and pulled her with him. _

"_Wait." Hotch couldn't let them leave. "It's not safe around here. How about you come with me and we'll go behind the barrier, and some policemen can take care of you?" He noted a thin line of red spreading across the girl's sleeve, and getting them to safety suddenly became all that much more urgent. Gambling on what little he'd heard of them the day before and what he'd deduced from their behavior, he tried, "Listen. I know you're both homeless, probably runaways from a foster home or group home where you were treated badly. You've been through a lot and come this far together, taking care of each other. Now, I don't see your other friend from yesterday, so I'm guessing that something very bad has happened to him, and if I'm right, you live nearby here and had a run-in with a very bad man… so please, just trust me, just this once. I might represent everything you no longer believe in, but _Derek_ -" he stressed the boy's name, "- I promise you, I swear, that I'll do my very best not to let them split you up. All right? Just come with me to where you'll be safe while we try and find this man, and the children he's been taking from their homes and parents. All right?" _

_The two children looked at each other. The little girl had stopped crying, but still she looked to Derek for guidance as to what to do next. Derek was sizing Hotch up, but though wariness burned at the back of his gaze, it was clouded over with a very understandable sort of desperation, and Hotch knew he'd guessed right. This was a child who had had to bear the burden of looking after both himself and his two young friends, and though he didn't trust adults, likely because of something that had happened in his past, he wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to… but he couldn't, because somewhere along the way, when he'd trusted an adult or authority figure, he'd been hurt or betrayed. _

_Hotch had to help him to make that step, and there wasn't much time. Gambling again, he held out his hand to the boy. There was a minute of hesitation, but then Derek sighed and nodded. "We'll follow you." He refused to take Hotch's hand, but it was a compromise, a starting point, and Hotch felt his lips turn up in a small smile as he led them both back behind the barrier. _

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"Hotch? Aaron?" Gideon gave him an unexpectedly compassionate look, and Hotch sighed. He hadn't really expected to be able to hide his thoughts from the older, more experienced profiler. Jason Gideon was one of the best, and the BAU was lucky to have him.

"They're safe now, Aaron. And Social Services has promised that they'll do everything they can to honor that promise you made them, and keep them together, even if they have to go to a group home."

That wasn't exactly a comfort. He was sure most of the people who ran them genuinely cared for the welfare of the children they took in, but in all these years on this job, he'd seen enough to know that there were also others who just wanted the checks that the children brought in, or who didn't care because they were too busy handling all the other children. And these three – were special.

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"_We lived in there," the little girl informed Emily, seated safely in the back of the SUV with Derek, under the gaze of one of the cops while the others listened to them being questioned. The boy was fiercely protecting her, even now, so they didn't move too close or attempt to separate them – it was enough that they were answering questions. _

"_We came back the other day, after school, the three of us," the girl went on. "But there was already some other kids there, and a weird man. Derek didn't like him." She looked with wide blue eyes at Derek, who nodded reluctantly and began to talk. _

"_The kids were all beat up pretty bad, and I just knew the guy had been hurting them," he said, a slightly defiant edge to his tone. "I tried to get JJ and Spencer out of there, but I wasn't fast enough -" his voice cracked slightly, and they saw his eyes widen and his breathing increase slightly, signs of emotional distress that Hotch sought to rectify.__He gently squeezed one brown shoulder and gave an almost imperceptible nod of his head towards JJ, knowing the boy would understand. Derek straightened slightly, the only sign of acknowledgment that Hotch got, and cleared his throat a little, finishing, "The man grabbed Spencer, but I got JJ and myself out of there. But not before he cut her."_

"_We were gonna go back," JJ said, her eyes filling with tears again. "Spencer's only little and we want him back. We gotta save him." She sniffed, and Derek patted her rather awkwardly. _

"_Aw, honey," Prentiss soothed, pulling her into her arms, just for a while. "We're gonna get your friend out, we promise." _

_Tearful blue eyes met hers, and JJ sniffled again, but unlike Derek, she was willing to trust the word of an adult. The boy looked almost jealous as Emily passed the little girl back to his side, but then their priority was Spencer, and getting him away from that man._

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It took almost all of his courage to open the door and go into the room, but it was more than worth it. There was a delighted cry, and a little blonde blur leapt off her bed and came running to him, and Hotch gladly caught the little girl in his arms.

"Hi, JJ, boys," he said, smiling down at her and nodding to the two boys. JJ definitely wasn't shy, grinning right back at him and wriggling in his arms until she was comfortable.

Behind her, Derek was slower to get to his feet. There were only two beds in the room, but it seemed that JJ and he were sharing. Gideon nodded to the older boy as he made his way in and headed straight to see Spencer, who was awake, but seemed slightly groggy.

"Hi Agent Gideon," he mumbled, slurred enough that they knew he was under some sort of pain-killing drug.

"Hello, Spencer," Gideon replied softly. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better, sir, thank you," the smaller boy answered, though he barely seemed able to stay awake. "You came to visit us?"

"Yeah, they really came." Seeming embarrassed at his own outburst and surprise, Derek ducked his head a little, refusing to meet Hotch's eyes as the agent approached the bed, JJ propped on his hip.

"We said we would, so we did," Hotch reminded him, smiling, taking a seat at the foot of Spencer's bed, being careful not to dislodge any of the tubes that made the tiny boy look so vulnerable. His shirt was off, and bandages wound around his skinny torso, and his broken glasses were folded neatly on the table beside him. He had the blanket up to cover himself, and despite his grogginess, seemed rather self-conscious about exposing his body completely to the two men.

Hotch frowned a little, hoping it didn't mean that the boy had suffered any form of sexual abuse previously, before escaping to the streets with Derek and JJ. Considering what had happened to him while Harrington had had him… but no, this couldn't be PTSD for that. Harrington had not sexually abused any of the children he'd taken – he'd hurt them in other ways, but not like that.

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_The scene inside the warehouse when they'd finally broken in wasn't at all what they expected. Somehow, Harrington was expecting them and waiting, behind a barricade of boxes and old crates, and they could hear the kids crying behind him, the music of fear that was rampant throughout the unsub's nest._

_They had to hesitate. They couldn't risk the childrens' lives – that was the priority, not the unsub. _

_Harrington's head popped up over his makeshift protective wall. "W-who are you people?" he shouted threateningly, gun in one hand, and a little girl in the other who was crying in pain at the grip he had on her hair. _

"_Harrington," Rossi tried placating him, holding his hands out and gun sideways in an attempt to assure him that he was no threat. "You're Benny Harrington, aren't you? We're with the BAU…"_

"_What the hell's that?" Harrington demanded, then suddenly pushed the barrel of his gun to the little girl's head, threatening, "Hey, if you take _one_ more step closer…"_

_Rossi stopped, backing up. The man glared at him one more time, then released the girl, who turned, sobbing, and disappeared behind the barricade. _

"_Get out," Harrington growled, eyes flashing with fury. "My kids and me, we don't need no cops or BAU or nobody here."_

"_We're NOT your kids," a small voice piped up, and the police and agents all winced as Harrington struck downwards at something on the floor beside him. _

"_Shut up, you!" _

_The child began to sob, and to Hotch's dismay, he saw Prentiss look worriedly at him and knew that she too, had recognized Spencer's wobbly treble. Gideon tilted his head sideways, and before they could stop him, he was taking off his vest and stepping forward. Harrington lifted his gun with a furious yell. _

"_I said, get back!" _

"_You're hurting those children," Gideon said, sorrowfully, but sternly, as his team mates and SWAT raced to try and get into a position to cover his back. He ignored them – his focus was on the man before him. "You're not their father, and you're hurting them. You have no right."_

_Harrington's face turned dark purple with rage. "No right?" he bellowed, bringing his arm up and waving the gun as he ranted. "No right? Their parents weren't like mine! They don't know how to discipline children properly! My father taught me…"_

"_Benny," Gideon informed him, soft yet clear, "Your father was _wrong_."_

_And then, as Harrington lifted his gun to rage again, Gideon lunged for the unsub's gun arm… and they all stared in shock as a pair of little hands reached up first and pulled down –_

_The gun went off. Gideon gave a cry that was equal parts rage and pain and grief, and Hotch barely had time to remember how his friend always reacted to losing children before Jason breached the barricade, Rossi right behind him as together they wrestled Benjamin Harrington to the ground – and once the man was restrained, and being led away by the detectives, Gideon whirled and scooped the little brown-haired boy into his arms. Spencer's breathing was erratic, and he was crying and holding his bleeding chest, where a bullet hole gaped. He allowed Jason to hold him, but sobbed: "It hurts!"_

_Swallowing, Gideon whispered, "I know. I know. But it's okay. I'll take care of you, okay? I promise. Shh…"_

_The sobbing stopped slightly, and Spencer asked, "Did you get him? He won't be able to hurt anyone anymore, will he? I was so scared…"_

"_We got him, son," the agent assured him, a gentle expression on his face. "Thanks to you, we got him."_

_Only Hotch was close enough to see the single tear that escaped and trickled down Jason's cheek, and he said nothing._

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None of them had rested until the SOB had confessed and been taken away, and now…

Spencer looked bravely up at Jason through his rather long hair, blinking and squinting a little, making Hotch wonder if he truly needed his glasses to see or if it was just a nervous habit.

"What's gonna happen to us now?" the smaller boy wanted to know, his little face incredibly open and vulnerable and trusting as he looked at Gideon. "Will the social people split us apart?"

"They can't!" burst out JJ, horrified. "Derek promised we'd stay together!"

Derek said nothing. But then, they already knew that he had no love for the system, no more faith in something that was supposed to protect them and all the other children who had no families of their own. Watching him, neither man could bear it.

"Well, for now," a voice announced from the doorway, "The three of you will have to stay with us, since you're material witnesses."

They all turned, to see a grinning David Rossi, and a rather sheepish Emily Prentiss. Hotch glanced at Gideon, then raised an eyebrow.

"Material witnesses?" he wanted to know. "When did that happen?"

"Right around the time I had a chat with Ms Chow of Social Services, and then a chat with my mother," admitted Prentiss, which explained her blush and embarrassment – she didn't like using her mother's status as a diplomat to pull strings, no matter what they might have thought about her at the start. "Who in turn did what she could so that the kids could stay together, at least until we find a way to honor that promise of yours, Hotch."

Derek's head jerked up sharply, and before he could stop himself, he met Hotch's gaze and demanded, "You really meant it? You'll try to keep us together?"

Hotch nodded. "I said I would," he responded, as JJ and Spencer's heads both turned to him with open curiosity and hope. "And I keep my promises."

Derek stared hard at him, and slowly shook his head. "Ain't no one never made that kind of promise to us and been able to keep it, Agent." And if he hadn't been looking, he might have missed the barest hint of challenge in the boy's tone.

He kept his gaze steady, keeping the link with Derek's chocolate eyes. "I plan to, son. I can honestly tell you that we all plan to."

"Why?" The boy was openly disbelieving.

"I'm sorry?"

"Why? Why bother about us? Aren't we just three street rats? That's what everyone says."

"No one's ever cared about us," JJ said, with a glance at Derek, uncertainly trying for her own reassurances – and it gratified Hotch that she was looking to him for it, and not just the older boy.

"Well, sweetpea," Gideon murmured, "Then you're going to have to get used to the idea that someone does care, now."

The arrival of the doctor interrupted any response from any of the children, but the team got the feeling that the message had been sent and successfully received. What each child made of it was a whole different story, but for now the doctor met them outside to discuss their health.

"The social worker assigned to them, Ms Chow, discovered who they are and gave me their files so I could figure out their medical histories and such," Dr Lombard explained. "Derek Morgan, eight years old, is rather underweight and small for a boy of his age range, though he certainly seems tough. He's rather malnourished and dehydrated, but beyond that, I can find no obvious physical injuries."

"The girl, Jennifer Jareau, or JJ as she insists on being called, is also underweight, and she's a little pale – I suspect a lack of proper nutrition and needed vitamins, probably due to her diet since she's been living on the street. You'll find she lacks energy because of this – she's definitely not as active as a seven-year-old girl should be. And Spencer Reid – the youngest at six – you already know that he was shot. The bullet, thankfully, missed any vital organs and went right out the back, and we were able to patch him up without complications – but he'll have to take it easy until his stitches can be taken out. I'd prefer to keep him here, but since Agent Prentiss informed me he's now a material witness, arrangements have been made for him to be brought over to Quantico's general hospital, where a room is ready for him there."

"Thanks." Hotch hesitated, then asked, "I don't suppose we could take a look at the other information on those files?"

The doctor shrugged. "Why not? You're FBI, aren't you? And the children are under your care now…" He handed the folder to Hotchner, who thanked him. He didn't need Jason to ask, just handed Spencer's file to him, while he opened Derek's and JJ's.

Yes, Derek Morgan, eight years old, son of a Chicago cop and a housewife, of mixed racial heritage due to his father being African American and his mother, Caucasian. His father had been killed in a grocery store robbery, which Derek had witnessed at the tender age of five – and his mother and sisters had been killed when the rest of the gang that had robbed the store had come to pick up their friends afterwards, taking out what witnesses remained in a drive-by shooting. Derek had been badly injured, but he'd survived, and been placed in foster care. He'd spent a few years moving from home to home, from state to state, never able to settle anywhere, until finally a year ago he had disappeared from the system entirely – and taken two children with him. The files were filled with reports of fights and anger and disobedience – how was it, Hotch wondered, that no one had seen the damage that the constant upheaval and unfair pre-judgment had done to the already hurting little boy?

Seven-year-old JJ's file was different – her parents had died in a boating accident, and she and her three brothers had been separated and placed in the system as well. Her brothers were all older than her, and Hotch suspected that if he asked, JJ wouldn't know where they were now, or even remember much of their faces – she had been four when the accident had happened. The children did have one grandmother still living – but she had refused to take the kids in, claiming that she was too old and feeble to raise even one child, let alone four, and three of them active boys at that. JJ had ended up in the home with Derek – and for whatever reason had bonded strongly with him, strongly enough to leave with him when he'd run away. There was no mention of abuse in the file, but why else would Derek have run? Hotch paused – no, best not to judge prematurely, he would ask the boy later, if Derek would trust them enough to tell them.

Gideon read out the basics of Spencer's file to him – Spencer was six, and from all accounts he was a gifted child, with an eidetic memory and incredible learning skills. At his young age, apparently he had a high IQ and was at the level of an average eight-year-old child, not a six-year-old. His father William Reid had abandoned Spencer and his mother Diana, who had been deemed unfit to raise her son due to her schizophrenia – she had serious episodes, and had come close to hurting Spencer once, though she hadn't meant to and truly seemed to love her son. Spencer had been placed in foster care by the court, and had somehow ended up with Derek and JJ. There was only one fight recorded in his file, an incident involving Derek, and from there they could all guess how it was that the boys' paths had crossed. The older boy must have stepped in to protect his smaller, less physically imposing friend, and they'd both gotten into trouble for it.

Well, Hotch already knew they were special. The files merely served to confirm it. Gideon seemed lost in thought, gazing towards the room where the other two members of their team were entertaining the kids. He looked up when Hotch moved.

"We'll find out more about them when we get back," Hotch said, softly. "For now, let's let Spencer rest and help Derek learn to trust us, all right?"

"Why are we doing this, Hotch?" Gideon looked up, seeming genuinely unable to understand. "We've had other cases with children before. Why these kids? Why now?"

Why. It was an important question for them to ask, especially while profiling. But though usually Hotch had the answer waiting, the children weren't unsubs, and anyway, he wasn't sure himself. He only knew what his heart was telling him – that he had formed a bond with those kids, and Gideon had too, and well – they would have to see where things went from there.

"They've left footprints on our hearts, haven't they?"

Hotch looked at the older profiler, whose smile had turned contemplative and wistful. He wasn't sure how to respond, wasn't sure he wanted to… because it would acknowledge that Gideon was right, that what his friend said was true.

It might not be a bad thing, but it seemed so illogical and fast and unreal that right now, it just scared Hotch. But he knew it was true. Somewhere on his heart were little Derek, JJ and Spencer-sized footprints, and Hotch was going to have to figure out what to do about that.

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"_Some people come into our lives and quickly go. __  
__Some move our souls to dance. __  
__They awaken us to new understanding__  
__with the passing whisper of their wisdom. __  
__Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.__  
__They stay in our lives for awhile,__  
__leave footprints on our hearts__  
__and we are never, ever the same."__  
__~ Anonymous_

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Please review.

RK9.


	2. Moving Them To a New Field

**Author's note: **This is unbetaed. Please, if you wish to fill the beta reader position for this fic, do PM me!

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**Chapter 2**

"_Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world." ~ Rev Ed Hird _

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"Comfortable?"

Though his mind was still a little hazy from what the doctors had told him were mild pain-killing drugs, Spencer knew that voice that he had come to like – not _love_, no, nor even _trust_, since Derek didn't yet, just _like_ – and recognized it as the warm tones of the FBI agent, Jason Gideon. Opening sleep-blurred eyes, he looked curiously up at the man, strangely reassured to see the agent's strong, chiseled features and twinkling eyes smiling down at him. It soother him deep in his little boy heart somehow, and he found himself smiling back. Spencer knew - he'd read that smiling took fewer muscles than frowning - but in his life he'd also found that sometimes, it was hard to smile, but this wasn't one of those times. He felt relaxed around Gideon, he knew that somehow, he could allow himself to smile.

Remembering the question, he turned serious again and nodded, making sure the blanket was pulled up over his injured chest. He hated looking at the bandages, hated that it just made him look uglier – as though he wasn't enough of a scarecrow without more scars! Derek said that he wasn't ugly, that the people who'd called him that were wrong – but Spencer thought he could see what they saw. He was skinny, and ugly, and no one wanted him. Like a scarecrow. Like in the Wizard of Oz, a show which had actually scared him. That scarecrow had wanted a brain… of course, Spencer already had one. Had people loved the scarecrow more after he'd gotten his brain? He couldn't remember… The painkillers were making him all foggy inside. With a sigh, he relaxed as gentle hands began stroking his hair. He remembered that – it was something his mother had done for him, long ago, in a time barely remembered, and it made him feel safe. With a soft, happy sigh, he settled down, not seeing Derek glancing at him from his seat across the aisle.

Derek liked the plane, and he was starting to like the people he was flying with – but was still wary of letting his guard down completely. These adults were different, but then, he'd met others who seemed different before too. He leaned back, fingers running admiringly over the comfy seats – though even the cool surroundings could not break his hard-drilled habits of checking constantly on his two younger friends, who were like brother and sister to him. JJ was sitting beside him, fidgeting with her seat belt, and Spencer was in front and across from them, stretched out comfortably on a couch-like seat, with Agent Gideon beside him to keep an eye on him. The hospital hadn't been happy about the idea of Spencer coming with them, but Derek knew that Agent Hotchner and the others had talked them into letting Spencer stay with Derek and JJ – it was weird. Derek couldn't understand how they'd known that Spencer would be upset if he'd had to be separated from him and JJ, but they'd known. And they'd cared enough to persuade the doctor to let them take care of Spencer and handle his travel plans.

Shaking his head, the little boy leaned back and slouched in his seat. He was all confused and twisted up inside, like a bush of tangled thorns. These people confused him – they made him feel bad, but good at the same time. He was scared – yet at the same time, almost relieved to have adults who cared about him again, who could take care of him, as well as JJ and Spencer. Derek had been the one in charge for some time now and it wasn't easy. But now that there were adults here, he didn't know if he dared to trust them… or even if he could let go. He loved JJ, and he loved Spencer, and he didn't want to lose them. If he let these people take care of him and them, wouldn't he lose them for good? They wouldn't need him anymore. They'd like Agent Hotchner and Agent Gideon more than him. They wouldn't be a family. Derek didn't want that. And if Agent Hotchner had JJ and Agent Gideon had Spencer – where did that leave him?

So he backed away from the idea of letting go just yet, of allowing himself to trust them. It was just safer, because otherwise there were too many changes happening too fast, and if there were too many changes then Derek couldn't handle what would happen because he didn't know what would happen, what would change. Too many unknowns, too much risk – too much at stake: JJ, Spencer – and his own heart.

He felt JJ reach over and squeeze his hand, and realized that he had sighed, a heavy sound that seemed to symbolize how weighted down he felt inside. Hesitating only a second, he squeezed back, and turned his gaze to the carpeted floor of the plane.

Derek Morgan had never been so confused in his life, but at least for now, he still had his reasons to keep trying to untangle the knots in his life. Turning towards one of them, he smilled at JJ, then looked worriedly over at the other, whom Gideon was slowly soothing back into the rhythms of restful sleep. It unsettled him, deep in his gut, that Gideon was doing what he felt he should be doing, and his eyes narrowed, and before he knew it, he was out of his seat and making his way over.

Though exactly what he'd been planning to say and do rather escaped him at the moment.

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Gideon looked up as Derek approached, frowning a little at the slightly antagonistic glint in the young face. Ordinary people might have missed it, but he was used to figuring people out through their behavior and so he definitely noticed. The boy was upset about something, and unless he missed his guess, it concerned Spencer. Gideon hadn't spent enough time with Derek yet to know exactly what it was, but he tried to head trouble off at the pass. Looking up with his impassive expression in place, he asked, "Derek? Something wrong?"

The boy stopped dead in his tracks, and hesitated, frowning uncertainly. Behind him, JJ looked tentatively after her friend, starting to slide off her seat as well, but Hotch came over to sit where Derek had been and she stopped, listening as he murmured something to her, before sliding back up into her previous position again. Hotch placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing slightly, and she leaned into the touch, though she glanced at Derek for approval before actually doing so. Derek didn't look at her, but apparently she decided it was okay.

Derek was watching Gideon, his entire little body tense.

"I…"

"Yes?" Gideon kept his tone calm, questioning, and the boy sagged a little, backing away. The fierce light in his eyes died, and confused, he took a step back, and shrugged, retreating behind a wall of some sort within him.

"I… wanted to know if this thing has a bathroom on it," he mumbled. "And t'see if Spencer was okay."

Gideon smiled, and nodded towards the back of the plane. "There's a small restroom at the back, Derek." He paused as Derek turned, then added, "And if it'll set your mind at ease, you can come here after you're done in there, and take over keeping an eye on him for me. My legs are getting a little cramped, and he might feel safer with his big brother nearby."

The boy spun swiftly, eyes wary as they searched Gideon for any form of deceit or mockery, but found nothing but warmth and sincerity. He swallowed, mumbled something, then turned and strode quickly with head lowered and shoulders slumped towards the little toilet. Hotch started as though to follow him, but Gideon and Rossi both caught his eye and shook their heads. The boy needed to think them through on his own, because that was the only way he would be able to make the decision to trust them.

Hotch sat back down, frowning a little, but smiled again as little JJ sighed and snuggled closer to him.

"I like your plane," she mumbled against his suit, her little voice drowsy now that the tension between Derek and the adults seemed to have dissipated.

Hotch settled her so that she would be more comfortable, and asked, "Ever been in one before, JJ?"

She shook her head, eyes suddenly widening. "Nuh-uh. Oh. Wait. Maybe. I think maybe my family went to Disneyworld once, and I think we went on a plane." She paused and frowned. "But it weren't like this one, that's for sure. Are you guys rich? Is that why y'all have a special plane?"

Emily laughed aloud, and even Hotch smiled as he faced the little girl and explained a little about their work, how they studied people and tried to help police all over the country to catch bad guys – which was why they'd been given a special plane to get around. JJ nodded when he was done, but he wasn't sure how much she understood – or even caught, since she was half-asleep. Still, just as he settled her into a lying down position on the seat beside, she opened her eyes again and mumbled, "You're nice, Agent Hotchner."

"Thank you, JJ," he replied, smile widening slightly. She nodded, and sighed as she closed her eyes again. Her next words were soft, unguarded as she hovered between sleep and wakefulness, but they all heard them anyway.

"I wish Derek could see that you're nice too…"

Rossi leaned forward slightly. "So do we, Jennifer," he sighed. "So do we."

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The children came home with Hotch that night, except for Spencer, whom they brought straight to the hospital upon on Quantico soil. Derek and JJ didn't want to leave him there at first, but were somewhat pacified when Gideon informed them that he would stay with the little boy, and keep him company and make sure the doctors treated him right. Derek, who had warmed up a little to Gideon after the older agent had followed through on his promise to let Derek take care of Spencer for while on the plane, had hesitantly agreed, and now he was silent in the backseat of Hotch's dark SUV as the profiler pulled into his driveway.

When his wife Haley had left, she'd moved to her sister's place with Jack, and though Hotch had offered her the house for Jack to grow up in his childhood home, she had politely but firmly declined, saying that her sister's house was more than enough for the three of them. Jack would visit every other weekend anyway, so it wasn't as though he would never see the house again. This wasn't a weekend when Jack would come over, but even so, Hotch was slightly reticent about the idea of putting Derek or JJ in his son's room. If Jack ever found out, wouldn't it seem as though he was replacing him with these two or something?

On the other hand, Aaron knew that his son was a very giving, generous little soul who sometimes put even him to shame – if he knew about these two, it was more than likely that he would offer to give up his bed and toys, or share with them, and make them welcome in the house.

Besides, he couldn't make either of them sleep on the couch. Derek already had problems trusting him – and he couldn't possibly let little JJ sleep on his hard, practical couch. It was easy to forget because she hadn't whined or complained, but her shoulder had been sliced, and it was still sore and healing. And once she'd had a bath, he would inspect her bandages and see if they needed changing.

The children had refused baths in the hospital yesterday, but now Hotch led them in, gave them a five-cent tour of his house – not that there was much to see now, anyway – and pointed them to his bathroom.

"Agent Prentiss picked you out some clothes that you can wear once you're clean," he informed them, holding up the bag of quick clothes that Emily had ducked into a local Walmart to get. He supposed it was a woman thing, but somehow she had taken one look at the kids and been able to get their correct sizes.

JJ and Derek exchanged glances, before JJ asked, "Does Spencer gotta get a bath too?"

The little girl had turned surprisingly clingy, and was standing slightly behind Derek as they waited for his answer. Hotch shook his head.

"The hospital gave him a bath while he was there, remember?" he asked them. "The nurses told us they had – a sponge bath, to get the blood and dirt off him. They'll probably give him another one while he's there now, too."

"It'll be okay, JJ," Derek assured her. "I bet Agent Hotchner's got a shower. You won't have to soak in the bathtub." He glanced at Hotch cautiously. "JJ's afraid of bathtubs. She don't mind looking at them but she won't take a bath in one."

"I'm not afraid," JJ protested, but her cheeks had turned pink. "I just don't like them."

Derek shrugged, and Hotch got the idea that there was more to the story. Since it was getting late, though, he didn't push, instead confirming that yes, he did have a shower that she could use.

As the kids bathed, one in the master bathroom and another in the guest bathroom, Hotch made dinner and kept one ear trained to the sound of running water. He'd ordered a pizza on the way back, and now he made some mushroom soup out of a can to go with it. The kids were all malnourished, so he didn't expect them to eat much, but he was going to do his best to get them fed and healthy again, and little JJ had some multi-vitamins prescribed for her by the doctors.

JJ came out first, and Hotch was amazed at the change. Her hair, now clean, softened from a darkish blonde to a light honey-gold, and her skin gleamed, unmarred by any of the dirt she'd been tracking around. Right behind her, Derek stood in the pajamas that Emily had bought for him, looking slightly embarrassed by the Spiderman motif on them, but pulling off the look nonetheless because, well, he _was_ only eight years old. Hotch grinned at him, and was pleasantly surprised as the boy quipped unexpectedly:

"Batman's cooler."

The single phrase brought warmth to Hotch's heart and a surprised chuckle as he met Derek's eyes.

"Wow," JJ gasped, looking just as pretty in her pink Disney Princesses pajamas, her gaze fixed on the food. "Is that all for us?"

"Well," Hotch said, pretending to consider it, "I suppose I _can't_ really eat it all by myself… don't suppose you know any kids who'd like to help me out?"

"Me!" cried JJ, and Derek grinned – the first real smile he'd shown anyone since meeting their team. Hotch chuckled and pointed out two chairs – and together they made short work of the meal, washing everything down with some apple juice he'd found in the fridge. JJ took her multi-vitamins without complaint once he explained why she had to take them, and then – bedtime. Hotch was rusty, but he figured that if he could tuck Jack in, he could tuck these two in also. He showed them both to Jack's room, figuring that for tonight, the first in a strange house without Spencer, they would prefer to remain together. JJ fell on the bed with a happy laugh, while Derek silently looked around, before glancing up at Hotch.

"This is a kid's room," he pointed out.

"Yes, it belongs to my son," Hotch explained. "Jack. He stays with his mom, and visits on the weekends."

"Oh." Derek looked surprised. "I didn't think you'd have a son."

"Well, I do," Hotch nodded to the bed. "You want the left or the right side? But I'd say JJ's already claimed the right side."

Derek grinned, his second that night. "She'll end up on the left after a couple hours. She always does. Mrs Buford used to say that she was a terrible sleeper, cause she sleeps all over the bed - and anyone she's sharing with." Here his smile faded. "She beat her for it, you know, but JJ can't help it."

Hotch stiffened slightly at this information, but tried to keep his tone neutral, without the anger that surged through him. "No, you're right. She can't." He went over to tuck the suddenly quiet little girl in, then held up the covers for Derek. "Goodnight, you guys -"

His phone went off, and he answered it, to find Gideon on the other side, explaining something. Hotch smiled. He turned on loudspeaker and placed the phone on the bed. Derek frowned, when suddenly Spencer's voice came through the line.

"Hi guys!"

"Spencer!" JJ sat up again, dislodging both Derek and the blanket. "Hey!"

"How are you, my man?" Derek cried, picking up the phone so that it would be closer to them.

"I'm okay." Spencer sounded very happy about something. "Gideon said I could call and wish you goodnight, cause you might be worried about me. Don't worry, though, I'm fine. Did you know Agent Prentiss bought me pajamas? They have some funny cartoon on them -"

"Batman," they heard Gideon saying in the background, sounding almost apologetic. Derek flashed a slight, injured glare at Hotch, who only grinned.

"Next time," he mouthed to the eight-year-old, who rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Batman's cool, Spencer," he said reluctantly into the phone. "I got Spiderman."

"I got Disney Princesses," JJ said, cheeks flushed pink with happiness. She looked up at Hotch and beamed.

"We'll thank Agent Prentiss tomorrow," Hotch said simply, and motioned for the kids to hurry up. He didn't mean to limit their time, but the clock was showing him that all three of them should be asleep by now – if they were to settle down again in a group home or anywhere else, they'd have to get used to a routine again, not whatever they had been doing on the streets.

Derek and JJ hesitated, then said quick goodnights to Spencer, but what was touching was how they ended the call by taking turns holding the phone to their ears, loudspeaker off, and just listening to Spencer breathing, and he to them. Derek ended the call solemnly and handed the phone back, his little face serious as he said, "He sounds a bit sick, Agent Hotchner. You should tell Agent Gideon to ask the hospital to check him again. Like – he can't breathe, or there's something making it hard…"

"Like he's congested?" Hotch asked.

"What's con-jest-ed?" JJ yawned, slightly worried.

"Well… it means that there's probably something infected in his lungs, and the doctors will give him antibiotics to help him take care of the bacteria that's causing the problem," Hotch tried, hoping he was getting it right. "Don't worry about it – I'll let Gideon know. Thanks, Derek."

The boy shrugged. Going back to his wary, untrusting self, for some unknown reason only he understood, he slid back under the covers and rolled onto his side, away from Hotch, back to JJ and facing the door. JJ followed his lead, but she reached out and squeezed Hotch's hand first.

"Could you leave a light on? I hafta have a light on," she asked shyly, and Aaron nodded.

"I'll definitely leave the light on," he promised, turning on Jack's small one. "Now, if either of you need anything, a drink of water, a midnight snack – my room is right across the hall, okay?"

Both children nodded, Derek into his pillow, and Hotch sighed a little to himself as he got up and left, leaving the door open a crack so he could keep an eye on them.

He cleaned up, took a bath of his own, and headed to his bed to sleep as well.

Just after midnight, he was awakened by a tiny set of hands shaking him awake, and he jolted upright to see a worried JJ.

"Derek's crying," she said simply, and Hotch groaned slightly as he struggled out of bed. JJ followed him sleepily, rubbing at her eyes, and when he entered Jack's room he saw the older boy tossing and turning, crying out in his sleep – very obviously caught in the throes of a nightmare.

JJ crawled into bed next to Derek but didn't lie down, looking worriedly at her friend, waiting to see what Hotch would do.

"He don't like it when we wake him when he's like this," she informed him, blue eyes lit with a worried sparkle. "I never know what to do, though I wanna help."

"It's okay," Hotch murmured, both to the little girl and to Derek, who stilled suddenly, as though hearing him. The boy was covered with sweat and tense all over, but the profiler didn't let anything stop him from instinctively picking the boy up and cradling him against his chest, the way he would have done for Jack, had he been here and in the same boat. A strange, protective concern guided his actions for the small boy in his arms, and he rocked Derek gently, murmuring reassurances to him, until the little body slowly relaxed, bit by bit, and in sleep, the boy gave him what he withheld from them all so fiercely when he was awake: his complete trust.

"Go back to sleep, JJ," he told the little girl, who nodded and sagged back onto the bed, already halfway back in her dreams. Derek sighed in Hotch's arms, and Hotch carried him outside to the couch in the living room for a while, still rocking him and smiling wryly to himself at the open, vulnerable expression on the boy's face. It made him look so innocent, so young, and for a moment the hurting, needy little boy inside was revealed and the street kid who had kept himself and his younger 'siblings' alive on the streets for an entire year disappeared, the shield lowered because in his heart, Derek did want to trust. But when awake, he was afraid to, and that kept him from lowering the shield when he was at full awareness – and it just broke Hotch's heart.

"You've been through a lot, champ," he sighed. "But you don't give up your pride or trust easily, and while that's a good thing sometimes – it's going to get worse if you won't let someone in, son."

The word shocked him, taking him by surprise, but at the same time, felt right somehow, and tasted good on his tongue. He thought of Jack, and sighed, but then he thought of footprints on his heart, and three little souls who had become very important to him in the span of just a few days. And he still didn't understand how or why…

But he knew he _wanted_ Derek to trust him, even if they would be going off with Social Services after the court case was done and they were no longer needed as witnesses. He had bonded with the boy, with JJ too, and Gideon had with Spencer. The team had grown fond of them too – Prentiss had used her own money to buy them clothes, not the Bureau's, though she had been authorized to. Rossi had taken them for ice cream after they'd reached the airport, even buying a cup ice cream for Spencer so that he wouldn't have to sit up and struggle with a dripping cone or bar. The little boy had been too sleepy to finish it all, but he'd beamed at Rossi as though the older man had given him his heart's desire. They'd learned that Spencer loved vanilla ice cream because his mother had loved it too, that JJ liked mint ice cream with lots of chocolate sprinkles, and Derek was a fan of plain chocolate. The kids had laughed and joked, and for a while, it had been… really, really nice. Like they were a family.

They weren't, of course, but it had still been nice.

Derek sighed and snuggled closer to Hotch in his sleep, and Hotch gently turned him so he would be more comfortable, running a soothing hand down his back, answering the question he knew the boy was asking, now when he wasn't aware and his true desires could be released. It wasn't words, but the language of the body and soul, and it was Hotch's job to understand that language when it was spoken, so he knew what was being said.

_I need you. Don't let me go. I'm scared._

"I've got you, champ," he promised, softly. "And I'm not gonna let you go."

The phone rang unexpectedly and he snatched it up, glancing down at Derek, who stirred but did not wake. Grateful that the boy hadn't been disturbed, Aaron answered it, to find a slightly breathless and semi-calm Gideon on the other end.

"Jason? What's wrong?"

"Hotch, I've made up my mind. I'm going to apply to be Spencer's foster father."

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Yes, it's a cliffie. Don't worry, it should be resolved in the next chapter, which I will put up ASAP.

If you liked this, please tell RK9. She needs the feedback to improve...

RK9.


	3. Remembering Wolves from the Past

**Author's notes: **I forgot to say in the first chapter - normal text is present events, _italics_ is past events (or quotes).

Thanks to Daisyangel, Ox-Em-xO, martina o'hara-miner aka the Celt (I assume you're the same person, lol) and Sarai for reviewing! Daisyangel, you've been reading my fics for years now, haven't you? I remember you from my days writing Love on Canvas - hi, and thanks for your support! ^.^

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**Chapter 3**

"_When making personal decisions, listen to what your head says then listen to what your heart says. If they differ, follow your heart. Whenever you listen to your heart, you listen to that part of you that is most interested in your well-being." ~ Unknown_

_The heart has reasons that reason does not understand. ~ Jacques Benigne Bossuel_

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Jason Gideon was not a man that people associated with rash decisions. He was calm and rational, a brilliant mind with a soul for helping those in need. A talented and insightful profiler, a deep thinker with a love for beauty and the arts, he was admired by those he worked with, and looked up to by everyone else. Even the serial killers he caught tended to respect him, even grudgingly, for in him they saw someone who understood them, who knew how they thought.

This was very out of character for him, but Jason's mind was set, and in his heart he knew this was what he truly wanted.

Closing his cell phone and leaning back again in his seat, he recalled Hotch's shocked exclamation, though hushed, and then the question from his old friend that he'd been dreading and wasn't sure he could answer.

Was he sure, and why?

He knew _why_, but wasn't sure the explanation would be enough for those who knew him, and for the others who would also ask the same questions.

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"_Thanks for staying with me, Agent Gideon." The little face looked solemnly up at him as Jason carefully helped him into the pajamas that Emily had bought for Spencer, being careful with his injury and trying hard to remember how, long ago, he had helped his own son get dressed too. There was a technique to dressing children, and Jason was very rusty in childcare details, but somehow he managed to get Spencer dressed without putting too many appendages into the wrong holes. He smiled at the boy as he turned slowly, mindful of the pain in his chest, looking at what he was now wearing. _

"_I think, Spencer, I'd prefer it if you called me Jason," he suggested, and the little head snapped up shyly. _

"_Really? You wouldn't mind?"_

"_No, I wouldn't mind."_

_Spencer adjusted his broken spectacles, the ones that Gideon had made a mental note to himself to get replaced. "What does Jason mean?" the little guy wanted to know, as Gideon slowly helped him out of the hospital bathroom that connected to his room and towards the bed. _

"_Well, it's Greek, for healer," Gideon responded simply. "Did you know there was a story about a great hero named Jason, who went on a great journey in ancient times?"_

_To his surprise, the little head nodded. "Oh yes, Jason and the Argonauts. Mom read it to me when I was a baby. Did you know that it's not really a movie, it's a story from a book? Well, not really a book, but Mom said it's one of the tales of Ancient Greece, and she said she'd let me read it, but I never got the chance before they took me away." Here the boy paused, expression turning sad, but then he sighed and said, "Maybe I'll read it someday, when I'm older. If I ever see my mom again."_

_Gideon felt something wrench inside him, but he forced a smile and nodded. "Maybe. And yes, I did know. I have some books at home, of Greek mythology."_

_Of course, they weren't really reading for children, they were much too dry and there were few, if any, pictures and illustrations. But still, Spencer wouldn't be coming home with him, so…_

"_Really?" The melting brown eyes widened, and Gideon found himself trapped in those limpid pools. "Big, thick books that last forever and ever? Mom said those are the best kinds of books – you can read 'em for a really long time and they take you on a journey to a world you didn't know before you started reading. And because they're so long, your journey can be long too, and it's the best experience in the entire world. She said I could read those when I was older, but she started me off with some books of poetry first, cause was a lit-chreechure teacher and she thinks poetry is more important than other f'rms of prose. She loves poetry, and I kinda do too." He paused. "I dunno. I haven't read much for a loooooong time."_

_Well, he'd be damned. "You can read, Spencer?"_

_Big eyes blinked up at him in surprise. "Sure. Can't everyone?" _

_They talked a little more, and it became apparent to Gideon that Spencer was a prodigy, a gifted child indeed, and not only had he been reading since a very young age, but the boy honestly could not remember a time when he'd been unable to read. The funny thing was, when Gideon gave him a little test, he found the boy quite unable to write, and though he knew how the letters looked like, he had no idea how to form them and write them out for himself. But when he gave him a page to read from a hospital pamphlet, not only did Spencer manage to read all the technical, long words that even Gideon wasn't sure he understood, the little boy remembered each and every word on the page verbatim, not missing even one – even though he admitted that he didn't understand some of the scientific terms that had been used. _

_The boy was a genius. Intrigued and amazed, Gideon could help but watch him with the same kind of wonder he'd felt 25 years ago when his son Steven had been born. He could practically feel the strings the little cherub had already tied to his heart – and it hurt, but he had to remind himself that this was only temporary, that soon, Spencer would have to leave him…_

_There was another option, the one he'd considered, but… no. He couldn't. He had a difficult job with long, impossible hours, how could he provide for a child? He'd already lost his wife and natural-born son to his work – it would be devastating not just to him, but to Spencer if he had to, say, give him up. It wouldn't be fair to the little boy, who deserved a guardian or foster parent who could say he would be there for him and mean it. Spencer and his friends had already been through so much – if Gideon caused any of them more hurt by a well-intentioned deed that went wrong…He wouldn't be able to bear it. But he did know one thing: he loved Spencer. The little boy had truly captured his heart._

_At the end of the day, did love conquer all? And did Spencer feel the same way?_

_The child in question was tossing and turning in the small one-person hospital bed, giving little sighs as he tried to make himself comfortable, ever mindful of his bandages and wound. Smiling, Gideon asked, "What's wrong?"_

"_The mattress is lumpy, and the pillow is bumpy, and I can't sleep!" Spencer looked up at him, hair falling over his face in his frustration. Jason fought the urge to smile at how cute he looked. It faded into a serious thoughtfulness as the little boy added, "And I miss Derek and JJ! Usually we all sleep together so we'll be warm, but they're not here, and it's warm, but I'm not squished with them together so it's not the same." He blinked owlishly at Gideon, who considered this, then got an idea. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed Hotch's number, and was pleased to find out that he was just tucking the other two into bed._

_Gideon felt like a cat that'd just had 'Crème de la Canary', once he saw how much that simple phone call made Spencer happy. The little boy lit up like a Christmas tree as he heard his friend's voices, and the glow remained even after it ended and he beamed at Jason. _

"_Thank you," he whispered, handing back the phone. Impulsively, he hugged Gideon, who caught him, and rubbed soothingly at his back as the child was reminded that he had recently been injured and cried out in annoyed pain. _

"_Just how long does it take for a bullet wound t'heal, Jason?" the child asked, frowning._

"_Well," Gideon hedged, not really sure, "Perhaps a week at least, son, maybe two. I'm not sure. And remember you have two bullet holes in you, all right?"_

_Spencer sighed heavily, and allowed the profiler to settle him down in bed again. Gideon paused, not very sure if he should ask the question that was on his mind, when the last thing he wanted to do was to make Spencer remember his time with Harrington. But he had to know. "Spencer, can I ask you something?"_

"_You can, sure." The boy smiled sleepily at him, yawning a little._

"_You remember Harrington? That bad men who took you and all those kids? The one whose arm you pulled down?"_

"_The one who shot me?" The boy nodded._

"_Spencer, why _did_ you pull down his arm? Didn't you see that he had a gun, and that it was dangerous?"_

_The boy was half-asleep, but Gideon would never forget his clear, simple answer for as long as he lived._

"_Oh, I saw his gun. I was just worried that _you_ hadn't, cause you came closer, and I didn't want him to hurt you or all those people." And with that last, sleepy sentence, Spencer fell asleep, his breathing evening out within minutes, though it sounded slightly congested. Gideon summoned the doctor, who started a drip with antibiotics as the boy slept. _

_The agent was fighting a very great battle between his heart and his mind, between what was logical and what wasn't, but at the end of it, he knew what he had to do. His heart now belonged to this precocious little boy whom he had bonded so strongly with, and he was going to do something that he'd been considering doing ever since seeing him attack Benjamin Harrington in that warehouse just two days ago and watching him fall to the ground, a bleeding wound opening in his little chest…_

_He was still Jason Gideon, but he'd made his first illogical, irrational, emotion and gut-based decision. It was hasty, it was rash, but it was _his_ choice and he was certain - completely, _absolutely_ certain - that it was the right one to make. _

_Dialing a number into his phone, he waited until the ringing tone broke off and a female voice answered him. Calmly, he asked, "Ms Chow? This is Agent Gideon with the BAU. I'm calling about Spencer Reid, one of the children – yes, one of the three we discovered on the streets. What would I have to do in order to become his foster father?"_

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Hotch was NOT happy, and the only thing that kept him from breaking things and venting his frustration was the fact that he did not want to spook either of the two children who were with him, or give them further reason to think that they could not trust him, or any other adults. They had reached a precarious level of trust by now, especially when Derek had woken up in his arms this morning, and he wasn't willing to jeopardize that trust by frightening them or by showing his temper. After all, he wasn't angry with them – it was Jason he was furious with.

"Agent Hotchner?" JJ looked strangely up at him from where she was making sandwiches out of her pancakes and sticking them together with syrup. Hotch turned the fire down before turning from the grill, where he'd been making Derek's second helping.

"Yes, JJ?"

"Are we going to the hop-sital to see Spencer now?"

He heaved a sigh inwardly, but nodded. "Yes, JJ, we are. Then we're going to wait there for a judge to come speak to you about that man who took Spencer, and for your social worker to come."

Derek dropped his spoon on the table with a thunk and a clatter. He looked up, accusing, yet resigned. "She's gonna take us away to a group home or something, isn't she? So we can't stay together or with you no more?"

JJ dropped her spoon as well, though she did it more gently so that it stayed in the plate. Her eyes filled with tears. "We gotta stay together! We gotta! Agent Hotchner, you can't let them send us back to Mrs Buford's place, you can't!" And with a harsh sob, she burst into tears, burying her face in her arms on the table, the very picture of a broken-hearted, terrified seven-year-old.

Hotch's own heart broke. Forgetting the pancakes completely, he moved around the table to pick JJ up into his arms, while Derek averted his gaze and stonily stared at his plate, pushing the now unwanted food around.

"I promised you I'd talk to Mrs Chow, and I have," he murmured. "I'll talk to her again, and tell her not to send you back there if you don't want to go, JJ, I promise. But you have to do one thing for me." He waited for the crying to subside a little, before saying softly, "You have to tell me why, sweetheart. I don't know your full history, just what's in your file, and that doesn't tell anyone how you ended up on the streets, or why. You and Derek and Spencer – can you all please trust us enough to come clean and tell us what happened to you?"

JJ looked at Derek, sniffling hard and clinging to Hotch as though he was a lifeline – and perhaps, at that moment, he was. The older boy shrugged, looking thoughtful and worried – and scared. It was the most open he'd ever been in front of Hotch, but then he nodded.

"I promised them we'd stay together," he said, meeting Hotch's gaze as JJ scrubbed at her face with her sleeve. "I'll tell you everything if you'll help me keep that promise."

With permission from Derek, JJ nodded too. "Now?" she asked.

"No, JJ, at the hospital," Aaron said, setting her down on the chair again. "Then you won't have to repeat it so many times."

She nodded, but her face had lost the joy of the night before. With a sigh, she leaned back in her seat and said forlornly, "I'm not hungry anymore – but those were GOOD pancakes, Agent Hotchner."

Derek nodded. "I guess I can't have seconds anyway," he sighed.

"Why not?" Hotch blinked at them in surprise.

They both grinned. JJ's was a little watery, but it was a start. Pointing, Derek said, "You forgot to turn off the fire."

Black smoke rose in a steady stream from the now-hissing frying pan, and Hotch turned with a muttered curse, lifting the blackened pan from the fire as the two children giggled behind him and forgot their worries, even if only for a while.

Well, he supposed that a blackened frying pan was a small price to pay, to hear the kids' laughter. Yet somehow, this was not a good time for him to tell them what Gideon had told him during his brief phone call last night.

They were already upset at the idea of being separated soon, or kept together and returned to the home they'd run away from. Hotch had no idea how they'd react to the idea that Spencer might be adopted without them, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. Damn Gideon. He plunked the pan into the sink and started scrubbing, his own appetite killed as he wondered how he would handle the confrontations that would have to come.

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It wasn't all that much later that the entire group – team and children alike – were gathered in Spencer's room at the hospital. Hotch met Gideon's eyes, but the older profiler kept looking away, and the team leader sighed, but acknowledged that with the judge coming and Ms Chow the social worker, and needing the children to come clean with what had made them leave their group home, this wasn't a good time to bring up Gideon's sudden, surprising decision. But they did need to talk about it as soon as they could.

JJ clambered right on top of Spencer's bed, her little behind wobbling as she found that she wasn't tall enough to get all the way on. Hiding a smile, Hotch gave her a boost, and she grinned back at him before pouncing carefully on Spencer for a hug, mindful of the tubes and his bandages.

In their new clothes (this time purchased by Emily using the Bureau's money), bathed and clean, the children looked completely different from the grubby street waifs they had found, and yet… they hadn't changed a bit. Derek and JJ had clearly missed Spencer, and Derek shot Hotch a look of approval as he noted that Spencer's breathing no longer sounded so congested – and that he looked less pale and much healthier, though he still had bandages and stitches in his chest.

The team kept the kids entertained until the judge arrived, the one who was handling the case. She definitely drew attention as she came bustling in, brisk and efficient, but not unfeeling or unsympathetic to the children's situation. Still, JJ clung to Hotch throughout the questioning, and Spencer wanted Gideon to sit by him, but otherwise, they made it through admirably as silver-haired Judge Colson asked them questions about Benjamin Harrington, especially Spencer, and got all the info she needed from them – though it wasn't necessary, since the man had confessed, but since they had the children to drive an extra nail into the man's coffin, the judge had said she would come and talk to them herself. Hotch knew the woman, and respected her, and that respect only grew as he saw how she handled the children, setting them at ease with gentle firmness – even Derek had warmed to her by the end of the hour, as she wrapped up her time with them and promised to check in on them again sometime. Then, came the time Hotch was dreading – the arrival of Aileen Chow, the children's social worker, who met with him outside the room as the rest of the team kept the children occupied.

"Well?" Hotch asked quietly, and Ms Chow sighed. A slim, petite Asian who barely hit five feet, she was one of the social workers who truly cared about her charges, and she was sympathetic to these three, and had agreed to try her able best to place them somewhere where they could be together, and happy. However, she had also warned Hotch that she had to stay objective and realistic, and now, it was even more complicated. Gideon's request to foster Spencer had turned things a little upside down – especially since the profiler had yet to ask Spencer and the children about it.

The man himself joined them both quietly as Hotch asked Chow about where the children could go next. She shook her head.

"I've been looking, but no foster parents are ready to take on three children all at once," she explained, apologetically. "And right now, most of the group homes are full, and the orphanages too. They'd rather that we split the children up and send them to different places, and at the moment, it's the only option I can see for them."

Hotch frowned. "Ms Chow -"

She held up a hand. "I know you made those children a promise, Agent Hotchner, but you have to think practically as well. If we keep them together, there's no place they can go, except back to the Buford's group home."

"No," both Hotch and Gideon said automatically, at the same time.

"That place traumatized them, Ms Chow," Gideon said, stepping forward and speaking in that intense, emotional way he had. "Something happened there, something that made the three of them so miserable and unhappy that they ran away, and were willing to live on the streets on their own, at such a young age, rather than stay in the life they had. Something made them decide that a danger-filled life in the world by themselves was far better than remaining under the Buford's care – and I for one would find out what it was before deciding to return them, or any children there."

Aaron nodded, for the first time since that late night phone call agreeing with his friend. Ms Chow sighed, then nodded.

"Then we should ask the children, and from what I experienced that day in the hospital… Well, they didn't even want to talk to me."

"That's just fine," Gideon said. "You listen, and they'll talk to _us_."

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_Derek was crying. JJ had seen her friend cry before, but never this way. Heart-wrenching sobs wracked his thin frame, and he had his head buried in the pillow, trying and failing to muffle the noise._

"_Derek?" _

_The hiccupping sobs did not stop, but Derek looked up, shaking all over. In between, JJ heard some words slip out._

"_Spencer… no. Don't let him… Don't want him… t'see…"_

_The little girl understood. He didn't want Spencer to see him this way. The other boy was only little, and he would be frightened and would probably start crying. And if they made any more noise the Bufords would come, and then they'd be punished. _

_Derek's roommate, a small boy named Harry, was buried beneath his thin blankets on the opposite bed, and every now and again a whimper broke free of the bundled up cloth. He too, was frightened, and the storm outside – with lightning and crashing thunder - did not help his already fragile courage. _

"_Spencer's asleep," the little girl said in an effort to reassure, biting her lip uncertainly. She wanted to go to her friend and comfort him, but didn't know if Derek would accept her approach. The older boy sometimes didn't like people touching him, and would pull away from hugs, or reassuring hands. _

"_He 'tutored' you again, didn't he," she said more than asked, slowly moving towards the bed. Derek shuddered, the sobs finally dying down. Something was wrong. Mr Buford would take Derek or one of the other boys for 'private tutoring' in his room every night, saying the boys needed help with their schoolwork. Only… Derek was a good student, and JJ knew he was smart and didn't get much of his homework exercises wrong at all. And Derek hated those 'tutoring' sessions, and when JJ asked him why sometimes he would cry and look so scared after leaving Mr Buford's room, he wouldn't say. He loved her and was her friend, but he wouldn't tell her. But she knew from the way he acted that something was really, really wrong. _

_Mrs Buford knew about those 'tutoring' sessions, but if she thought something wasn't quite right, she didn't say anything. The girls were her responsibility and she kept them separate from the boys, mostly – JJ wasn't even supposed to be here, but she'd seen Mr Buford taking Derek away earlier, kicking and struggling, and had been unable to sleep. She'd known her friend would be frightened and upset, and she'd been right. So far, Spencer had never been taken, but then, everyone knew he was a genius, and really, really smart, and didn't need tutoring anyway. Derek always told Spencer to keep his head down and stay away from Carl Buford, though he wouldn't say why, and JJ knew that the little boy did so, though he didn't understand why any more than she did. If Derek told them to do something, there was usually a good reason. _

_Mrs Buford hated children, they all knew that, and she wasn't shy about letting any of them know that they were only here so she could collect the social checks that were sent for each child she took in. In her home, she had a very strict set of rules and a routine that all the children had to follow, or else. JJ had seen one little girl disobey the rules before, sneaking out after curfew and down to the kitchen for a midnight snack. She'd been caught by a furious Mrs Buford and locked in the 'dark place' downstairs, and they hadn't seen her until a few days later, when Mr Buford had finally let her out. She'd been crying and screaming until her voice gave out, and bitten badly by rats all over, but Mrs Buford said she deserved it. After that, none of them had dared disobey, not even a little – except for now, but JJ couldn't help it. It wasn't that she wasn't deadly scared of being discovered, terrified to even stand here in a boys' room where girls were forbidden to go – but somehow her worry for Derek took precedence over everything else and she had to be here for him. The three of them, they were the odd ones out among the other children. They had known their parents and had loving homes before. They stuck together. They were friends. If she wasn't here for Derek and Spencer, who else would be?_

_She padded over to the dresser and removed a handkerchief from the bottom drawer, where she knew they were kept. Handing it to Derek, she watched him wipe his face and blow his nose, then curl into a little ball-shape in the middle of his bed, wrapping his arms around his legs and just sitting there staring at nothing. He didn't respond to JJ at all, and she figured that he wanted to be on his own. _

"_I'll go back to bed," she said, reluctant to leave him, but knowing she had to, before one of the Bufords caught her. She was halfway out the door before Derek finally spoke._

"_No." _

_She turned back, frowning. "If Mrs Buford finds me…"_

"_No. We gotta leave, JJ. We gotta leave and we gotta take Spencer with us. He told me – he's going after Spencer next. We can't let him. Spencer's only little. I can't let -" He stopped, hugged himself tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. The whole time, he hadn't been looking at JJ, but now he turned and opened his eyes, and scared her with the fierceness in his brown orbs. "I'm going, and I'm taking Spencer with me. And I don't want them to do anything to you, so you gotta come too, JJ. Please?"_

_If Derek was going, there wasn't anywhere she wouldn't follow him to. Strangely excited - strangely afraid too - she nodded, unable to speak, not knowing what to say. Derek slowly climbed off the bed, dropping his handkerchief, grabbing his jacket, and tiptoeing with her to the door. He turned, hesitating only slightly before actually closing it. _

"_Bye, Harry." _

_The blankets whimpered again, but a small head popped out, looking scared. He wouldn't come. Harry was a coward, and everything scared him – and even if they asked, he wouldn't come. _

_They made it out of the house, started running, and never looked back._

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Derek was quiet as JJ and Spencer finished telling Agent Hotchner and his team about their lives in the Buford house, and why they had run. It was a simple tale and started in the middle, but the adults seemed to think it more than enough. Agent Hotchner looked at him and met his gaze, and the little boy blinked and looked away. He could see it in the man's eyes – he knew. He knew exactly why Derek had been _compelled_ to leave, and taken the only two people on earth that he cared about with him. He knew what Mr Buford had been doing to him, and all the other boys in that house. And… Derek was confused, because he seemed angry about it, and though his face remained unsmiling and expressionless, he could see the disgust in the man's dark eyes, and hoped it wasn't aimed at him.

He knew it hadn't been right, back then, knew that Mr Buford had given him nothing but 'bad touches', and his mama had warned him long ago about those kinds of touches, before he'd lost her and his father and his sisters. Even now, he remembered the creeping sensation of being unclean, like he'd done something very wrong and terrible and dirty, and shivered slightly. He didn't know why, but Agent Hotchner was the first adult man who had been able to hold and touch him and not make him feel those shuddering feelings of revulsion that gave him feel-bad feelings right down in his stomach.

He'd had to get them out of there, because he was the oldest, and the other two looked up to him to protect them, and that was what he had tried to do. Especially Spencer, who was only a little kid, and Mr Buford had wanted to start doing _those things_ to him too.

A hand came down on his shoulder, and he tensed, but knew it was just the agent he had come to like – not trust, not yet - but he liked this man and knew that if he wanted to _try_ and trust someone, it would be him. He looked up into Agent Hotchner's dark eyes – and dared to hope.

The man gave him an understanding nod, and told him, "Derek. It's okay. You did the right thing. You did what you could, and you kept Spencer and JJ safe. I'm proud of you, champ."

The walls came down, and a sob choked it way out. It was an entire year late, but all the time, when they'd been cold and alone and hungry and hurting on the streets, away from the Bufords, that was all he had longed to hear. And now, he finally had. And Agent Hotchner held him close as Derek let go and allowed himself to cry, releasing a tidal wave of fear and worry and pent-up frustration and pain. Releasing the past, that he might take less of it with him into whatever future might come.

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"_What you need to know about the __past__ is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now." ~ Unknown _

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Please give feedback. Like it, hate it - tell me?

Still need a beta reader...

RK9.


	4. Abused Lambs, Healing Begins

**Author's notes: **Here's chapter 4. Yeah, still unbetaed... but I hope still pass-worthy. :) Pardon any mistakes, plotholes or inaccuracies.

Sorry, everyone... I was going to post this last night, but after uploading it, ff dot net suddenly stopped loading for me. I couldn't save my changes, couldn't post the new chapter... couldn't even log in. Even my profile wasn't loading. Anyway...

Thanks to Daisyangel, martina aka the Celt, Sarai and Sue1313 for your reviews and support. I'm so glad you like my humble fic. I'm aware that the beginning might be boring and hard to read, but this is the founding fic. Later stories should be more interesting, as with the Mag 7 Little Britches stories - I confess, I already have some planned. But first, I have to get through this one.

Sue1313 - Yes, I agree. Gideon and Spencer had such an amazing dynamic on the show. I was so disappointed that Mandy had to leave and break it.

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**Chapter 4**

"_Let us follow our destiny, ebb and flow. Whatever may happen, we master fortune by accepting it__**." ~ **__Virgil_

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"I don't believe this." Hotch watched as Rossi carried Spencer carefully into the cabin, while Emily herded JJ and little Morgan in after him. The BAU leader was still rather in a state of shock. How had he let them talk him into this? Dang it, but he worked with _profilers_… Profilers who knew exactly which of Hotch's buttons to push to get him to agree to something.

Gideon was smiling.

Hotch rolled his eyes and fought the urge to smile as well. "Stop that," he grumbled.

"What?" The older man was the picture of innocence.

"You _know_ what."

"Now, Hotch, you have to admit it's a good idea, a perfect solution. And besides, it's only for a few days…"

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_Hotch carried Derek over to the team again as Aileen Chow, looking decidedly unsettled and upset, got slowly to her feet. Facing the children, she said, "Thank you, all of you, for telling me the truth about what really happened to you. I can promise you, an investigation will be opened into the affairs of that home, and if what you have told me is true, children, I can promise you that Mr and Mrs Buford will never, ever, be allowed to take children into their home again. Okay?"_

_Three little heads turned to her, and JJ asked, "They won't hurt any more kids no more?"_

_Chow shook her head. "Never."_

"_Good." JJ accepted that answer, and spoke her approval on behalf of all three kids._

_Derek slipped from Hotch's arms and onto the bed behind JJ, seemingly having had enough of being held. Now that he knew the boy's past experiences, Hotch fully understood why, too – JJ had mentioned that he didn't like being touched, well, that was a common reaction for victims of sexual abuse. They'd have to work on that – no, he corrected himself, the family that took them in would have to work on helping Derek regain his trust. Not them. The boy wasn't going to be with them for very much longer – and he'd miss him, JJ, too._

_Aileen carried on after a moment, her expression turning serious, and she did not meet any of the team's eyes as she informed the children, "I know that Agent Hotchner made you a promise, children, and he told me about it too so that I would know to find a home for you that is willing to take in three children all at once. The thing is, I couldn't find one other than the Bufords', so right now, I have nowhere to put you all. And then Agent Gideon called me and asked me about something very important, and now I will tell you what he said." _

_Gideon started, eyes fixed on Aileen, before shifting to look at Spencer in tense, hopeful silence._

"_You see – Gideon has asked me if it would be all right if he became your foster father, Spencer."_

_The little brown-haired boy looked up at her in surprise, his spectacles wobbling on his nose as he responded, "Foster father? What does that mean?" _

_Aileen smiled. "It means, Spencer, that Gideon would like to become your guardian. Someone who takes care of you like you're his son, and he's your father – even though you are not related by blood."_

"_Oh." Spencer looked at Gideon in surprise. "You asked her that, Jason, really?"_

"_Wow," JJ looked at Spencer in uncertain awe. "But wait. Does that mean you'll have to stay here when Ms Chow finds us a family later?"_

"_It takes time to approve a foster parent, JJ, but yes, ultimately, it would mean that Spencer becomes Jason's responsibility and would have to stay with him." The social worker tried to explain. _

_They were all expecting Derek to react, perhaps angrily, to this idea that they were splitting them up after all. But to their surprise, the older boy remained silent, and it was Spencer who exploded and burst into tears – and not the happy kind. _

"_Spencer, what's wrong?" Gideon asked, distressed by the tears and rather surprised, though he tried to hide it behind his normal mask of intensity. He hadn't expected such a reaction from the boy to the idea of having him as a foster dad, and was suddenly having second thoughts about his decision. If Spencer didn't want this…_

_Derek glanced at Gideon, then moved closer to Spencer, JJ right behind him. Patting the smaller boy gently on the shoulder, then pulling him into a hug, he let Spencer cry for a while, before saying, soft but clear: "Spencer. You should go with Agent Gideon. It's all right. JJ and I don't mind."_

_JJ nodded. "Yeah, we're happy for you, Spence. It means that somebody wants you to be their little boy, and you deserve that. You'll have family."_

_Spencer sniffled, shaking his head. "I don't wanna. I don't wanna leave you and JJ. I promised too. I said I'd stay with you both, and Mom used to say there's nothing worse than breaking a promise." He looked at Jason with tears streaming down his cheeks. "I like you," he said, "I want to go home with you and be your little boy – but I want to stay with Derek and JJ too."_

_That was it – there was the problem. The six-year-old was torn between his friends and Gideon, whom he too had grown to love. No matter what Derek and JJ said, he still loved them and even though he was only six he knew, somehow, deep in his gut, that if Derek and JJ left, he would never see them again, and his little heart was almost broken. He couldn't bear it._

_Derek patted his friend gently on the back. "Aw, Spencer. Chances like this don't come around every day for kids like us. There's a man here that wants to be your dad, wants to take you in and take care of you, and we already know he's different from the Bufords. I want that for you, Spencer, we both do. JJ and me want you to have a family, the chance to go to school and just be a normal kid."_

"_Yeah," JJ nodded. _

_The youngest sobbed a little more, clinging to Derek. Gideon turned away, swallowing hard, and Emily and Rossi both glanced at him before averting their gazes sympathetically. Hotch looked at his old friend with regret – this was why he'd wanted to talk to Gideon first, but he hadn't know that Aileen was going to bring this up so soon. _

_As Spencer wept, he began to speak again, indignant and scared and upset enough to air his mind – not that he had been afraid before, but finally the heart and desires of the six-year-old broke through the barriers he'd been taught to put up and exploded out in rapid, hitching sentences. _

"_Why… can't… we all… stay with Jason? It.. isn't fair! It just… isn't!"_

_Emily's eyes widened, and then she said, "Spencer, you might have an idea there."_

_That got the child's attention, and he looked up, sniffling. "Huh?"_

_They all looked at her, the adults all raising questioning eyebrows, which she ignored. _

"_Gideon, you have your cabin in the woods, and it's a nice big place, isn't it? Why don't you and Hotch take the kids there? They can stay with you, stay together until Aileen finds them a place willing to take all three of them, or if Spencer changes his mind -" Spencer shook his head vehemently at this "- then just Derek and JJ. Or not." Emily looked around triumphantly. "It's a good idea, and since you're FBI agents, I'm sure Ms Chow and the family courts will have no objections to the kids staying with you for a while. Just temporarily, until we figure out a next step." _

_They were nearly thrown out of the hospital for the uproar that started within the next few minutes. The children all beamed, and broke into a barrage of questions, and the adults all had their own reactions as well. Gideon had broken into a relieved and grateful grin, Rossi was nodding thoughtfully, and Hotch was just – stunned. Aileen Chow grinned at the BAU team and nodded to Prentiss. _

"_That's actually a very good idea," she admitted. "It does solve all our problems, doesn't it?"_

"_It sure does," JJ said enthusiastically. "Does that mean we get to stay with Agent Hotchner for a while longer?"_

"_Sounds like it, kiddo," Rossi told her, and she beamed. Next thing Aaron knew, he had an armful of joy-filled little girl and a pair of skinny arms wrapped around his neck in what felt like a choke-hold, but was really just JJ hugging him as tightly as she could. Instinctively, he caught her, and knew he was caught, too. _

_Derek grinned shyly and looked down at the bed. Secretly, he liked the idea, though he wasn't sure that Agent Hotchner was quite as happy about it as the rest. Still, the man was smiling at JJ, settling her on his hip and holding her tight, and he said nothing as the social worker got up, saying that she would start the paperwork to name him and Jason Gideon – because three children would be a handful just for Agent Gideon alone – temporary guardians of all three children. Just until they found a new place. The words reminded Derek that this was just that – temporary. Still… he liked the idea, too, though he had no idea why. But he knew he liked these people, and to spend just a little more time with Hotch and the team didn't seem like such a terrible thing to do. _

_He'd have to shield his heart though, or he'd just get hurt again. Drawing on his walls, he steadied himself and prepared himself to do whatever he needed to do to get through the next few days._

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It was the first time that the cabin had felt like a real home to Gideon. The children were all over it, even Spencer, who had been released on doctor's orders that he take it easy, but the child seemed to think that walking just a little slower than he'd used to before getting hurt qualified somehow – it didn't. Still, none of them stopped him from following the other two and exploring the house, until Gideon gently picked him up and gave all three a quick tour. He had one bathroom, two bedrooms, one study, one living/common area, a kitchen area and a back porch, from which he could watch the sunrise every morning when he came here. It wasn't all that big inside, but thanks to his furniture arrangement, it was spacious and roomy, and definitely comfortable enough for two men and one child – he would take care of converting his study into a bedroom for the three children later, so they would have a place to sleep.

What was more important was that the place was bigger than Aaron's townhouse and his apartment, and had more room for the three to run wild and hopefully feel comfortable, away from the prying eyes of neighbors and other people.

While the children discovered the TV in the living room – one he rarely used when he came here, since it defeated the whole purpose of peace and relaxation – Gideon enlisted Hotch and Rossi's help in settling the sleeping situation. The study already had two bunks (in storage there, as he hadn't space to keep them otherwise), which they pushed together to make space for a third bed, and then a quick check in his storeroom at the back revealed an old rollaway, which had also come with the cabin when he'd purchased it. It was a little dusty, but working together, the men soon had it clean and usable. Hotch rolled up his sleeves and delved deep into the linen cabinet, emerging with bedsheets, pillow cases, pillows, and some blankets.

"Jason," he asked, with an arched eyebrow. "Has anyone even seen the inside of your linen cabinet recently?"

The profiler paused in the middle of helping Rossi to adjust the position of the other beds and looked back at Hotch. "A bit dusty?"

"That's an understatement, Jason… Yes."

The older man frowned. "Think I should wash the sheets before we give them to the kids?"

"Well, it's a warm night," Rossi pointed out. "The kids can probably handle one night without sheets and such – might even be used to it, not that that's a good thing, but I doubt they had so much on the streets. You wash them tonight, hang them up tomorrow, and by tomorrow night they should be dry."

"And for now, we could pretend!"

They all turned to see a slightly sheepish Emily Prentiss standing at the doorway, behind the three children, who had bathed and changed into yet another set of clothes. They'd come up behind the men so unexpectedly that none of them had sensed them until little JJ had spoken up.

"Pretend, JJ?" Gideon studied her, wondering what she meant, and hoping it wasn't what he thought it did.

She shrugged her thin shoulders. "Yeah. In the warehouse, we didn't have blankets, so we used old, flat pieces of cardboards that we found and pretended they were blankets, or sometimes we found cloths that people threw away. It wasn't that bad. So if you don't have any clean sheets for us, Agent Gideon, we can just pretend."

Gideon swallowed, and saw that the other adults were equally affected by that simple, practical statement. None of them liked thinking about what the children must have endured in the past year, on their own on the streets. Seeing that JJ was waiting for an answer, he shook his head. "That wouldn't make me a very good host, JJ," he pointed out as gently as he could. "As long as you stay here, what I have is yours. You kids can use my blankets, and Hotch's. We won't need them tonight."

"I can head back to my place, pick up some sheets along with my overnight bag," Hotch suggested, and Gideon nodded in agreement.

For the first time, it occurred to Gideon to wonder why Hotch was going along with this whole thing, whether he even realized what it implied that he was still choosing to stay here, in the cabin with Gideon and the kids, instead of just leaving them to Gideon and disappearing back to his home. Of course, Emily _had_ suggested that he stay here at first so that he could help Gideon, and be here in case JJ and Derek, who had bonded to him, unexpectedly needed him. But Hotch could still choose to shrug it off and leave. He hadn't, and apparently wasn't going to. Gideon smiled to himself – whether the other man wanted to admit it or not, he was doing this for the kids, because somewhere in his subconscious, deep inside, he didn't _want_ to leave.

And if Gideon played his cards right and helped Hotch to listen to what was important, he might just assure the future of three children, and their team.

After all, people already called them close enough to be family.

Now he felt he had a solution that was even better than Emily's.

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Stepping out onto the back porch later that night, Hotch left the children inside with Gideon and dialed a familiar number. His ex-wife answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

He cleared his throat. "Hey, Haley. It's me, Aaron."

A brief pause, and then – "Oh. What do you want? Jack's getting ready for bed."

"Can I talk to him?" Hotch pleaded softly. "Just for a few minutes? There's something important I have to talk to him about."

"Let me guess. You just wrapped up a terrible case?"

"What? Oh. No. Haley, can't I want to talk to my own son even without having worked a bad case?" He rubbed at his temple and sighed. "Not that the last one wasn't bad."

"They all are, aren't they?"

He heard Haley sigh, then call to someone in the background, and was strangely relieved. He'd been half-afraid she would tell him to call back in the morning, and then that would be the end of it – it had taken him enough time to work up the courage to even make this call, and to have to wait until the next day…

"Daddy?"

It was like a load off his chest, just to hear his five-year-old son on the other end of the line. An instant smile came to his face, and he replied, "Hey, Jack. Brushed your teeth already?"

There was a giggle. "Yep. All clean, Daddy. You can't see over the phone, but Mommy says they's sparkling."

"Good, good." His grin grew broader, and love filled his heart and voice. "Hey, Jack?"

"What?"

There was an admonition from either his mother or his aunt, and he corrected himself quickly. "I mean, yes, Daddy?"

Hotch chuckled. His smile faded a little as he thought carefully about how to phrase this. "Jack, listen. I have a little girl and two boys with me now, I found them living on the streets during my last case, and they have no Mommy or Daddy, and are staying with me and Gideon for a little while. I was wondering – would it be okay for me to lend them some of your old clothes and toys which you don't wear or play with anymore?"

He didn't want his son to think he was being replaced, and so emphasized on the word 'lend'. "It's just temporary, they won't be here for very long. Their social worker is trying to find a family for them, and in the meantime, they need -"

"They don't have a family?" Jack's small voice cut him off, in saddened wonder. "That's awful, Daddy. I have Mommy and Aunt Jessica at least, and you on the weekends – you mean they don't have anyone at all?"

Hotch could only imagine what his ex-wife was making of all this, but for now, his focus was on the sadness in his son's voice – once again, Jack Hotchner and his big heart had truly put him to shame. He'd assumed his son would start thinking that Aaron was replacing him with these other children, and would be jealous and upset, but here the child had latched on to the idea that these children had no family and were all alone, and was going from there. Where had his son's generous, giving nature come from?

"Well, for now, they have me and Gideon and the team," he said lightly, trying to reassure his son. "You don't mind sharing your old dad with them for a while, do you, Jack?"

Jack surprised him further with the eagerness in his voice as he replied, "No, Daddy, not at all! That's great, especially if they're nice kids. You can be their Daddy too, for a while! They can pretend. I don't mind if they do. You can lend them my teddy and my other toys if you want, Daddy, if they're sad and want to play. I have toys here, I don't need them."

Hotchner wished that he could reach through the phone and kiss his son. Swallowing twice to get his voice working again, he managed to say, "Thanks, Jack. That's very kind of you."

"No problem, Daddy. Mommy says I gotta go to bed now. Goodnight, Dad, I love you! Give those kids a hug from me, okay?"

Throat constricting, all Hotch could do was whisper, "I will. Night, Jack. I love you, son."

"Bye!" Jack blew kisses into the phone with a giggle, then handed the phone to someone, who hung up for him. Hotch closed his phone. There was a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside him, and a genuine smile on his face.

Engrossed in his thoughts as he was, he never saw that someone was watching him from the barely lit darkness as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and headed back inside.

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Gideon met him on the way in with a beer. "Prentiss and Rossi had to head back – apparently this place is a little too out in the boonies, so it's quite a drive to town." He smiled – that was, of course, the point of him having a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It was out of the way and far from civilization.

Hotch nodded, knowing his coworkers needed to head home and rest. "The kids?"

"JJ went out after you, and the boys are working on a giant jigsaw they found – it's 5000-pieces, so I don't expect anything to come of it tonight," the older man said. He paused. "You called Jack and Haley, didn't you?"

"I did." Hotch confirmed, meeting his gaze. "I wanted to check if Jack was okay with the idea of sharing some of his old clothes and toys with them – I'll pick them up tomorrow or something and bring them here. There are some he's never worn or played with, and I think they'll fit Spencer, at least until we can buy them all new clothes." Then, he frowned. "I didn't see JJ outside, Jason."

Gideon frowned. "Well, maybe you missed her. Did you lock the door? Maybe she was locked out by mistake – you'd better check and let her in if she is."

Hotch groaned. "Sorry."

"Apologize to JJ when you find her," his friend waved it off. "She can't have gone far."

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It was a good thing he'd bumped into Gideon in the end, or they might not have realized, that yes, JJ had followed him outside, and yes, Hotch had accidentally locked her out. The little girl was frantically knocking on the door when he found her, and she glommed onto Hotch in complete and uncharacteristic silence the minute he opened the door. He did apologize, but wasn't sure if JJ even heard, from how tightly she clung to him, trembling uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there, JJ," Hotch repeated again, just in case, but again, there was no response, just a tightening of her arms around him and a softly breathed sigh against his throat. Starting to become alarmed, wondering what on earth could have scared her so badly, he just held her, nonetheless knowing that there wasn't much he could do until she had calmed down a little.

Carefully, he carried the little girl carefully into the house, moving slowly and making as few sudden movements as he could. JJ was pale and frightened still, though being inside and out of the dark and cold seemed to help a little. She turned her head away from the sounds of happy play that came from the living room, and Hotch took the hint and tried to avoid that area altogether, guessing that she wasn't ready to rejoin the boys.

He hadn't counted on Derek's "radar", which seemed able to activate itself each time one of his "siblings" was hurt or upset.

"JJ?" The older boy came quickly towards them, abandoning the puzzle he'd been working on, closely followed by Gideon and Spencer who was holding his chest as he moved; a sign that the smaller boy was becoming tired and upset. Derek moved closer to JJ and Aaron, a protective expression on his face as he looked accusingly up at the BAU leader. "What did you do to her?"

Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"What makes you think he did something, Derek?" Gideon asked quietly from the back, placing two hands on Spencer's shoulders as the upset child backed towards him for comfort. He had seen JJ, and was clearly frightened at the paleness of her face and the strangeness of the silence that surrounded her.

Derek scowled and fell silent, but when he looked at JJ again he seemed more worried than angry. Guessing that the boy was simply concerned about the little girl who was like a sister to him and reacting according to his emotion-based instincts, Hotch bent a little to Derek's eye level and said clearly, "I am not Carl Buford, Derek. I would never hurt JJ on purpose. I think I scared her badly without meaning to, but I did not hurt her."

"He didn't see JJ following him earlier, when he went outside," Gideon helped him explain.

"Yes, and I locked the door behind me when I came back in, not seeing that JJ was still outside. I didn't do it on purpose, or because I wanted to lock her out," Hotch finished, and felt the little girl stiffen suddenly in his arms. Going completely on guesswork from what he knew of their past, he asked, "Did Mrs Buford lock her out of the house before? Perhaps as a punishment?"

Derek shrugged, but then, to Hotch's immense relief, a tiny voice whispered a 'yes' into the side of his neck.

"I was bad. I came home after sunset, and we weren't s'posed to," JJ said, still not sounding completely like JJ, but it was a start. "I didn't know the rules, and no one tol' me, and I had to stay outside all night in the dark and I was only little and it was scary. And when I followed you just now, and couldn't get back in, I 'membered and got scared all over again."

Hotch ran a hand up and down the thin little back soothingly. Flashbacks of their past. No wonder.

"I thought maybe you were punishing me for going out after dark without permission, and I didn't know I wasn't s'posed to," the little girl finished, in a small voice that broke on the end of her sentence, and she burst into tears against Hotch's shoulder.

The hardened profiler felt his heart break at the abject fear and desolation in the small voice, and the realization that JJ's heart was also broken because she thought that she had disobeyed him and let him down somehow, and for some reason, that had terrified her worse than the idea of being left outside all night. Was he truly that frightening to her?

He had to clear his throat twice before he managed to speak. Derek and Spencer were watching him closely for his reaction, and Gideon simply smiled at him over the boys' heads and gave him a little nod that said he would let Hotch handle this one.

"Come here, you three," Aaron said softly, and he led them all out to the back once more. JJ tensed in his arms, and the boys both looked worried too, but he smiled at them and that seemed to put them at ease somewhat.

"I wasn't punishing you, JJ," he said, as he exited into the sweet caress of the night breeze and the chirping of the crickets and bullfrogs. "I'd never punish you that way, because in my house, there is no such thing as a rule that says children who come back later than their curfew will be punished by being locked outside the whole night in the dark and cold. Never, do you hear me?" He locked eyes with each child until they nodded, and only then did he continue speaking. "If we do set a curfew, it would be for your own safety, because it isn't safe for even adults to be outside at night, where anything could happen to them. But if you broke curfew, maybe you'd have to stay inside an extra hour the next day, or have to go without dessert after dinner – because that's how things are supposed to be done with children. Punishments need to be fair, and should fit the crime – and they should never be about fear or pain. I know some people believe that fear and harsh discipline is the only way to control children, but I have never, never believed in that, because when I was a child, my father was one of those people, and I swore that I would never let my children go through what I did. Did you know that he beat me, and my mother too? And I promised myself that if I ever became a father, I'd never ever be like him, because I believed – and still do – that he was wrong."

JJ gaped at him. "Your Daddy beat you?"

"And your mother?" Spencer crawled into his lap, and Hotch picked him up with his other arm as he made himself comfortable on the steps of the porch. Derek settled beside him, a new expression in his eyes and face as he regarded Hotch.

"Really?" the older boy wanted to know.

Hotch nodded. "He sure did. I don't tell many people this, but I think you three should know, so that you know that you never have to expect such harsh punishments from me, no matter what. If you do something wrong, we'll tell you first, all right, and it's only if you do it again after you know it's wrong that we'll punish you – but we'll never hurt you, and we'll never do something to you that causes you to be afraid or in pain. All right?" He looked at Derek. "Can you believe that?"

The boy averted his gaze. "I guess so," he mumbled uncertainly, even as Spencer and JJ both nodded with childlike solemnity, JJ wiping at her tears with her sleeve as she snuggled closer to Hotch.

Knowing that it was the best he'd get from Derek right now, with this sudden shock, Hotch let the matter drop. The boy had been through enough that it would take actual proof and tender treatment to mend the wounds of his past and earn his trust again. Adjusting his grip on both younger children, he turned his gaze towards the woods and sky and added, "Now, for the other reason we're here."

They all looked at him again, still uncertain, but curious. Smiling, he motioned for them to look up.

"The reason so many people are afraid of night-time, my mother once said, is because they always focus on how dark it is, and they never look up and see the light. She taught me how to watch the stars and moon and planets, instead of focusing on the darkness, and now I'm going to teach you the same thing, so that you'll – hopefully – find the night a bit less scary. JJ, see that arrangement of stars up there?"

The little girl looked up hesitantly, and nodded. "Yeah."

"Try and play connect-the-dots with them. Do they make a picture?"

"Uh…"

He leaned back as all three squinted up at the sky, JJ holding up a finger and trying to do as she had been asked. After a while, she shook her head, giving up, but Derek ventured, "Um… is it kinda like a man wearing a belt? Maybe? I can sort of see his body anyway."

"It sure is. That's Orion, the hunter. Those three stars make up his belt, and that over there is the tip of his arrow. You'll like this, Spencer – Orion is connected to Greek mythology, and there's a story behind his constellation in the sky."

"What's a constellation?"

"He's a Greek?"

"How's that bunch of stars look like a man? I don't see it."

"Well…"

When Gideon came out of the house later, it was to find three sleepy but content children leaning against Hotch, watching the stars high above, and an equally content man holding a boy and girl in his arms, while another leaned against him, swaying drowsily. Hotch gave him a smile as Gideon came over to pull Derek into his arms, so that the other man could handle JJ and Spencer.

"Everything all right?" the older man questioned softly, looking at Hotch over Derek's head.

Taking a moment to look at the two sleeping children he was carrying, the normally unsmiling man nodded in confirmation.

"I hope so," he murmured softly. "We'll have to see how tomorrow goes."

Gideon nodded. "Oh," he said, just loud enough for Hotch to hear, "I'm sure it will all work out."

And never mind if he was the only one who understood the double meaning behind his own words.

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_"Perhaps we cannot prevent this world from being a world in which children are tortured. But we can reduce the number of tortured children."  
~ Albert Camus_

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Please, as always, feedback. The only way I can improve is if you tell me what I have to improve on.

Press the shiny review button?

RK9.


	5. Taking Care Of Their Lambs

**Notes: **I input a little tribute to Matthew Gray Gubler in here. Kudos to whoever spots it first. ^.^

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**Chapter 5**

Ms Chow came by to visit them the next morning, and left them a to-do list, of sorts. She'd completed most of the paperwork, but for it to be approved; the men had to meet some needs for the children, and to get some things for them as they might be staying with them for a long while. She left soon after, thankfully, leaving words like "doctor's visit", "providence of basic necessities" and "child psychiatrist" ringing in the men's' ears.

Fact number one: the kids needed a complete physical check-up, something more in-depth than the cursory exam all had received at the hospital in Chicago just a few days earlier. Aileen had recommended a good pediatrician, but Hotch knew one who was even better – the same one he and Haley had previously found for Jack. Dr Burroughs was more than just a family doctor, he was a trusted friend, and more importantly, the children liked him on sight.

"He looks like Santa Claus!" said Derek with an uncharacteristic giggle, and JJ and Spencer nodded as well, grinning. Dr Burroughs was round and middle-aged, with white hair and a beard, and friendly, twinkly eyes that locked down onto his small patients right away as Hotch entered with them. Gideon was settling things with the nurse outside in the reception area, but since they had called to make an appointment Hotch knew it was fine to walk in.

"Hello, Ken," he greeted calmly, corralling the kids before they could run off to explore the office. Spencer had his eye on the doctor's medical tools, and Derek looked like the only place he wanted to go was back out the door. Only JJ stood patiently for Hotch, but even then, she was fidgeting. It seemed that doctor's visits had never been much fun for them before, and they weren't expecting it to be so now.

"Aaron," Dr Burroughs shook his hand gravely, before turning to the children. "Well kids, what seems to be the problem?"

"We need a check-up," Spencer announced simply, parroting what Hotch and Gideon had told them that morning. "Agent Hotchner says it's a pain in the butt, but it's gotta be done."

Actually, Hotch had said that to Gideon, but it seemed that little jugs had big ears. Wincing slightly, Aaron simply shook his head at the doctor and explained, "These three need a complete physical, Ken. I brought them to you because I trust you, and well – I did explain the situation over the phone."

Dr Burroughs nodded. "Yes, Aaron, and I can assure you that we will give them our best – both in treatment, kindness and discretion."

The profiler nodded sincerely. "Thanks, Ken. Now," he gently nudged JJ forward, "This is JJ, Spencer and Derek. They're currently in mine and my coworker Gideon's care."

The doctor smiled. "How about we get them on the scale, one by one, and we'll see what we have."

The morning passed quickly, and to Hotch's surprise, uneventfully. But then, Dr Burroughs was a professional, and he handled the kids like a pro, walking each one gently but firmly through their individual tests. All three were still underweight, and Spencer's stitches could be taken out, the doctor judged, by the end of the week. The hospital could do it, or they could bring him here and he would. Thanks to the multivitamins, JJ was starting to fill out and regain her healthy color, no longer as pale or lethargic as a vampire in sunlight. Derek was fine, but he squirmed through the physical examination and refused to take off all his clothes for the doctor to examine him, even when Hotch explained it was just for a cursory exam. They couldn't blame him, but the doctor noted that there was some scarring on his bony little back, probably from previous foster homes, and that he was rather small for his age.

"He'll grow, though, like a weed, once he gets some proper nutrition and regular meals and exercise," he assured Hotch with confidence. "He's got an athlete's build, this one. But other than that, they seem just fine. I don't suppose they've had their shots, due to where they've been living, but I'd rather wait until they've regained their proper weight and size before giving them any injections. You can bring them back anytime. I'll draw up the report that social services needs."

"Thanks so much, Ken." Hotch said sincerely, with actual warmth in his tone. Gideon poked his head in just then, and Spencer left Aaron to go to the older man almost at once, a joyful grin of greeting on his face.

"Well, I can honestly say that was my pleasure," laughed the doctor. He bent down to JJ and Derek's eye level and said, "Hey, before you go – I always let my patients dig around in the toy box for a free toy before they head out. Would you like to do that too?"

A nurse walked in, smiling, holding a small toy chest with an open top. The children's eyes widened, and impulsively, JJ flung herself at a bemused Dr Burroughs and declared, "You really ARE Santa Claus!"

"Yeah, he's giving us toys? And we can keep 'em?" Derek looked at Gideon and Hotch for confirmation and permission, which the men granted readily before all three moved to pick through the box, big smiles on their faces.

"Oh!" JJ found a soft, cuddly pink teddy bear which she immediately pressed to her face, fingers brushing the wonderfully smooth fur. The bear wasn't overly bright or neon colored, it was a sweet, gentle pink and it was plain that JJ had fallen in love with the soft toy. Hotch silently gathered the child, bear and all, into his arms – it was clear that JJ had made her choice.

Morgan was a little slower, but he found a book on bikes and motorcycles that made him smile. Stroking the cover with reverence, he got slowly to his feet and thanked the doctor and nurse politely, then moved to Hotch's side, holding his treasure tightly and protectively, as though worried that someone would make him give it back. Spencer frowned, not liking being last, but there were no more books, and there weren't all that many toys left in the box that seemed to appeal to him. Leaving a toy car and tractor alone, and a small rag doll, he suddenly beamed and reached for a stuffed toy with fur not unlike JJ's - only it wasn't a teddy bear.

"Jason," he asked, "What _is _it?" He held the toy up with open curiosity.

Put in the spotlight, Gideon froze. He sent a glance to Hotch for help, because he really didn't know, but the other man just smiled and shrugged. Chuckling slightly, Dr Burroughs rescued him.

"We're not sure, Spencer, but if you look behind his ear, the tag says 'Nerf'. Jenna here," he indicated the nurse, "and I, believe that that is his name."

Spencer nodded seriously. "Okay. But what _is _he?"

"We don't know," the nurse said, with a smile. "What do you think he is, Spencer?"

JJ looked up from her bear for a while, and she and Derek helped the little boy study it. Whatever 'Nerf' was, he had a round, fluffy white body, an oversized nose and mouth, and two little bead-black eyes that were almost covered by his fur. Spencer squinted at Nerf, turning him upside-down and around and sideways, even holding him up by one fluffy white leg at one point. He took a deep breath, and frowned. They all waited.

"Hippopopot-tamus," Spencer decided, and the other two relaxed.

"Yeah, gotta be it," agreed Derek sensibly.

"Closest guess," said Gideon, secretly thinking that he'd never seen anything look less like a hippo in his life. Picking up the little boy, he nodded to the nurse and doctor and the little 'family' made their way out to their SUV, children clutching tightly to their new treasures. Hotch buckled them into the booster seats that they were required by law to have, which Aileen had brought over that same morning.

Their next stop was the shopping mall, a local complex, and not the one that had recently opened and they had saved from a terrorist attack. Hotch wasn't taking any chances.

Fact number two was that the children needed some basic necessities like clothes and toiletries, and the mall was the place to get these things. Spencer definitely needed new glasses. They'd tried holding his specs together with Scotch tape, just for now, but it looked pathetic and incredibly sad, and was very definitely temporary. They'd tried asking the six-year-old if he could see without the glasses, and he'd said he could, but still needed the glasses for things like reading and looking far away.

So they visited a shop that sold spectacles, and the optometrist prescribed a new pair that Spencer was able to wear right away. His power had gone up in the year since he'd last checked his eyes, but thankfully JJ and Derek both had 20/20 vision. Together, the kids chose a thin-framed maroon-brown pair for the little boy, with a Bugs Bunny design along the frame, and Spencer exclaimed in delight at his sharper vision as he slid them onto his face. The only thing that upset him was when the optometrist offered to throw away his old glasses – it turned out that he still wanted to hang onto them, so the eye doctor gave him a case for him to keep them in, which he promptly passed to Gideon to hold as they moved on.

Next came clothes and shoes, and then bed sheets and some toys. The children were hesitant to make any decisions of their own, not ready to show their true preferences until Hotch assured them that they could, and even then, they worried about the cost, not wanting to be too much bother lest one of the men decided they weren't worth the effort or something. It took some talking to convince them that this wasn't so, and that if something cost too much, the men would just say 'no'. And then, a heartbreaking moment came as suddenly JJ realized that these things were truly theirs, and that they could keep them, even after they'd left and gone to some other home somewhere – she found it hard to believe, though the men assured her that yes, these were all hers now, and she could bring them with her when she left, even for another group or foster home. To help make it seem real to them, Gideon led them to the aisle for children's backpacks and bought them each one, so they could keep their stuff inside of it if they wanted to, and the men both smiled at the eager expressions of happiness from all three as they each chose what they wanted.

Later, Hotch couldn't believe it, but that time spent shopping with the kids was one of the best days he'd had in his life, even though they ended up wandering the mall for the better part of the day. After their main shopping was done, they visited the play area on the second floor of the mall, where three bouncy castles had been set up, and kids were allowed to bounce and scramble over them for free. Derek and JJ raced over as soon as Hotch let go of their hands, but Spencer lingered with Jason, frowning at the castles and the other children who were already playing there.

Gideon bent down beside him. "What's wrong, Spencer?" he asked gently. "Are you afraid of joining the other kids?"

The little boy hesitated, then shook his head. "No," he answered in a soft, small voice. "Derek and JJ are already there."

Okay. Puzzled, Hotch asked, "Then what's the matter? Don't you want to go play?"

"No, I do!" The little boy looked rather upset as he turned back to Hotch. "But… but…"

"But?" prompted Gideon, and he watched as Spencer seemed to sag back into him, looking distressed.

"I… I don't know how."

Perplexed confusion shone from the little boy's brown eyes, and he looked miserable. The men glanced at each other, both puzzled as well.

"What do you mean, Spencer?" asked Hotch, not understanding. JJ and Derek were doing fine, climbing onto an inflatable dolphin in an underwater-themed castle and giggling as they shoved each other off and took turns climbing on again. They weren't having any problems playing at all.

Fists clenched in frustration that he wasn't being understood, Spencer looked at both men. "I mean, how do we play on those… bouncy-jumpy things? What is the proper way to play there? Is there anything specific we have to do?"

The light went on for both men, and the exchanged glances as they realized with double-pangs that Spencer, with his unique way of looking at the world, felt certain that everything had rules, or at least guidelines and a specific way to do things – even playing. For him, the world and these rules were stuffed into a box, and he wasn't good at thinking or seeing outside of it just yet.

The question now, if they were to respond to him properly, was if Spencer would mind if they told him to look out of the box and venture beyond his ideas and perception.

Gideon gathered the little boy into a comforting embrace, and carefully suggested, "Well… There aren't any rules for playing and having fun, Spencer, and different people have fun in different ways. I can't tell you how to enjoy yourself."

Spencer frowned. "Why not?"

"Well… it'd be like telling a dog to ride a bike," Hotch offered, rewarded by an utterly confused look in his direction, and he hastened to explain. "I mean, the dog could ride the bike, but he wouldn't be having fun doing so, would he? Not like if a little boy or girl did it. So… we could tell you to go there and bounce around, like those kids are doing – but you might have more fun running around and playing with the inflatable animals or something, like JJ and Derek are doing."

Seeing that Spencer was digesting that information and trying to put it all together in his little boy mind, Gideon tried to simplify it for him by just giving him what options and suggestions were open to him.

"Tell you what – why don't you just go, and see what the others are doing? JJ and Derek sure know how to play there – just join them, and you'll find what's fun and what's not fun for you. You might not like the bouncy castles at all, and that's okay too – if so, just come back here and we'll wait here together for Derek and JJ to finish playing, all right?"

That worked – Spencer beamed, finally having some direct instructions that he could understand and obey, and he took off carefully to where his siblings were suddenly realizing that he wasn't there with them yet. Nerf, whom he'd insisted on dragging along into the department store, was left in Gideon's care, and the older man rolled his eyes slightly and stuffed the toy into one of the plastic bags which held their purchases. Then, he leveled a questioning stare in Hotchner's direction.

"'Telling a dog to ride a bike?'" he repeated, the hint of a smile tugging at his mouth.

Hotch shrugged, looking a little sheepish. "Well, if any of the kids could have gotten it, it would have been Spencer, right?"

The older man chuckled. "He's only six years old, Hotch, for all his intelligence. And though he's got plenty of book smarts, look at him – he had to ask _us_ how to play. While on the one hand that's a sign of growing trust and a good thing, on the other, what does that say about his past, his upbringing, and how he thinks in general?"

"He sounds a little OCD," Hotch admitted, watching Gideon carefully, but the older man nodded.

"Maybe a little autistic, too," he sighed. "But the tests given to him by social services so far have come up negative for autism, haven't they?"

"Maybe he's just particular about doing things the right way," Hotch suggested. "Or some things, anyway – you notice he insists on wearing mismatched socks?" He paused. "You still want to foster him, don't you?"

The older man's smile turned wistful. "I do."

"But have you considered what splitting them up could do to Derek and JJ as well, not to mention Spencer himself?"

"Yes." Gideon sighed, not looking at his friend. "I still want to foster him. I've fallen in love with him, Aaron, and I'd do my best to give him a good home."

"We have demanding jobs." Hotch didn't back down. "We're away on a case most of the time, in other states, sometimes for days on end. If we're not doing that, we're off attending or giving seminars, or at the bureau buried under mountains of paperwork and the files for unsolved or new cases, trying to stop the next serial killer, solve the next case, help more people. How would you make time for Spencer? I mean, look at me. I lost my wife and son because I was away all the time, and I missed so much of Jack's life – his first steps, medical tests, his first day at play group…"

"Hotch." Gideon cut him off, his eyes meeting Aaron's with compassion and understanding, but no less calm determination than he'd had before. "I'm not saying it will be easy, but I'm going to do my best to be there for him. No matter what, he'll be my son and I'll always put him first, the way I didn't for Steven. If the job becomes too much – well, I've had a long and decorated career, and can easily retire or leave. It won't be easy – but it's something I know I want to do for that little boy. Because he deserves it. If I can, I'll willingly take in Derek and JJ too, because they're great kids, and you're right, it'd upset them to split them up. But I'm not going to let fear or doubt stop me from taking him in. I've thought of all those things, and more besides, and there are solutions, other options I can take to handle each one. For Spencer, I think it's worth making some changes in my life. It's what fathers do. I wasn't a very good one in the past, but no matter what, Spencer will have my absolute best. Even if I have to give up a job that I love just to take him in."

Aaron sighed. But he knew his friend, and it was the emotion in his face and eyes that convinced him that no matter how hasty or illogical a decision this seemed, Gideon really had thought it through by now, and he still wanted to go through with it. He was just waiting… but waiting for what? For Spencer to trust him? The little boy already did. For the children to adjust to the idea of being a family with Gideon? For what?

Thinking it over, he figured that the best he could do was to support his friend, and so he reached out and placed a hand on Gideon's shoulder in silent apology. Gideon seemed to understand, and he smiled his thanks at Hotch just as Spencer came running back.

"Can I have Nerf and JJ's bear?" he asked breathlessly. "JJ wants them."

"Sure," agreed Jason, reaching into the bags for the requested toys. "Don't lose them, don't leave them behind, and tell the other two we're only staying here for another fifteen minutes, all right?"

Spencer sagged a little in disappointment that they were leaving soon, but then nodded. "Thanks, Jason!" he called as he darted back towards the bouncy castles and his waiting friends, his little face flushed from exertion and excitement and his long brown hair plastered against his face by sweat.

The two men grinned at each other. For a child who just a few minutes ago had not even known how to play, he sure seemed to be a fast learner.

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They'd honestly meant to visit the child psychiatrist that Aileen had recommended, but in the end, they were glad they hadn't made an appointment, since the children were all exhausted – happy, yes, but completely tuckered out, especially Spencer, the youngest and recently injured. Gideon carried the little boy into the house after he fell asleep in the car, grinning at how he was hugging Nerf close to him even in his sleep.

JJ, who wasn't thinking because she was sleepy as well, reached out for Hotch when he came around to unbuckle her from her booster seat, yawning widely. The man grinned and obliged, feeling a swell in his heart at the trust displayed. It was the same when Jack wanted to be carried – there was something about having the trust of a child that really made Hotch feel warm inside.

He had to admit it – he was starting to get attached to them, there was no doubt about that. He shouldn't, but he was. The heart that had slowly frozen over as he immersed himself in the darkness of his work after Haley had left with Jack… it was slowly beginning to melt again, and he wasn't sure whether he liked it or not – but he had to be honest with himself; he had to admit that it was happening.

The question was, where did he go from here? Looking at the cautious, apprehensive-looking Derek who was beside him and the sleeping JJ in his arms, he was starting to get an idea… but no. He couldn't. Gideon could make this choice, maybe, but it was different for him. His son was an adult, he didn't need his father anymore – and he was mature enough to understand and accept it if his father suddenly chose to become the foster father of a little boy. But Jack – would he understand? Could Hotch – but no, that was crazy. His job – it wouldn't be fair to the kids, if he was away all the time… just as it hadn't been fair to Jack. And unlike Gideon, he couldn't simply leave his job or retire – he was a unit chief. No. It was ridiculous. In the long term, it would never work.

But for a moment, it was nice to let himself dream.

"Hotch?"

JJ looked sleepily up at him, her pink bear tucked under one arm. He hesitated, but then shrugged inwardly – he saw no reason to correct her, it was what everyone else called him after all, and 'Agent Hotchner' had to be a mouthful for the child.

"Yes, JJ?" he asked.

"Can Bear sleep with me tonight? He won't take up much room in the bed, I promise. And – I kinda like having him with me. He makes the feel-bad thoughts go 'way."

Sometimes, it was like kids had a language all their own. "I'm sorry – what are 'feel-bad thoughts', JJ?" And as an afterthought, he confirmed, "And sure, you can hug Bear to sleep if you like. He _is _yours."

"Thanks," JJ yawned, not answering the other question because she'd fallen asleep. Puzzled, Hotch turned to Derek, who shrugged.

"We all get them sometimes," he offered. "Feel-bad thoughts, like when we're mad or sad or scared. The Bufords had to take us all once to this special doctor, and he talked to us and let us draw pictures and play. He told us a little about feel-bad thoughts. I didn't mind talking to him, he was nice and he helped me figure out those thoughts, but the Bufords only brought us once, and though he said we could come again, they always said we didn't need to go, 'cept that one time cause it was.. uh… man-tory."

_Mandatory. _As in, the Bufords had only brought the children because it had been a requirement for them to bring all the kids who entered their home at least once, especially those who had been labeled as 'problem kids'. And unfortunately, according to Derek's file, he was one. Hotch frowned – he and Gideon had to do the same thing, they had an appointment that they had shifted to tomorrow morning with a Dr Irene Fitzgerald, a name suggested by Aileen. It didn't sound like Derek minded going… but for the Bufords to deny him the chance to talk to a trusted adult and get rid of some of his confusion and doubts and anger and goodness knew what other 'feel-bad' emotions were lurking within the wary young boy…

If Derek liked Dr Fitzgerald and wanted to go again, Hotch would make sure he got the chance to go. And if he didn't want to, that was fine too. He'd ask, later.

"Come on, champ," he said, holding out a hand, shifting JJ to the other without waking her. "Let's go in. Bet Gideon's got something great planned for dinner, and I bet he'll let us help if we want to."

Derek eyed his hand, then slowly took it, just the fingers, in a tentative grip. Hotch smiled. Yet another step had been taken with just that simple action – and more progress had been made. He didn't want to think about how being shifted to another place, another home, might send this boy back to square one – for now, it was enough that he'd come this far, with Hotch, at this moment in time.

Hand in hand, they walked up the path – and into the house.

But from the road beyond, a dark figure lowered their night-vision binoculars and smiled thoughtfully to themselves as they watched the man and children disappear into the cabin, to join the rest of their little 'family'. Fingers that gripped a pencil moved to jot something carefully into a little notebook, before the watcher put the car into gear and drove off into the night.

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I tried to upload pictures of Nerf and JJ's Bear, but they didn't show. (sigh) Oh well. They're on my photobucket now, here are the urls... just remove the spaces and enter them into your browser address bar.

This is Nerf - http : / / i576 . photobucket . com / albums / ss207 / espeon9466 / DSC00070 . jpg

This is Bear - http : / / i576 . photobucket . com / albums / ss207 / espeon9466 / DSC00067 . jpg

Quality might not be the best, they're taken by my phone camera. :) But you can see what they look like.

RK9.


	6. The Long Day

**Author's notes: **Thanks to all who reviewed for the last chapter, and Mish, glad to see you here! ^.^ I'm a sucker for a protective Derek too - it's why I loved the s3 ep, 'Penelope'.

Did you notice the Matthew Gray Gubler tribute in the last chapter? No? Only Sue1313 actually tried to guess - the answer is, I had Spencer insist on wearing mismatched socks... which is something Matthew does because he believes it's bad luck for him to wear socks that match! :) The one time he did, he sprained his ankle... so I figure Spencer could have the same quirk!

Also, my friend neko made a beautiful graphic for this fic: http : // i43 . tinypic . com / nl7xch . jpg. Remove the spaces, and copy paste to your browser address bar. There's also a link on my profile if this one doesn't work - but be warned, the images might contain spoilers... I'm also thinking of advertising this fic by making a YouTube video, but that'll depend on whether I can get clips for it.

In the meantime, do continue to enjoy this! Thanks for the support and reviews!

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**Chapter 6**

"_Calvin: You know Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."  
- Bill Waterson, It's a Magical World_

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The children had gone to bed and the cabin was quiet now but for the sound of the two men, who spoke quietly with each other as they sat in the living room and distressed in companionable silence. It had been a long day, which was both good and bad, but there were decisions to be made.

Hotch was the first to speak, tired from work and handling the insecurities of the children, but knowing they had some things to settle.

"So the doctor's visit wasn't as bad as we thought it would be?" he asked, rubbing at a knot in the center of his forehead.

Gideon tilted his head to one side, and gave Hotch a 'look'. "Perhaps not physically – but you know better, Hotch. Derek and JJ were definitely stressed, because you weren't there. I know, it wasn't your fault, Hotch, but… Well, and the sessions didn't help either."

Hotch sighed. "No, I don't suppose they did."

There was silence for a few moments, as the two friends became lost in their own thoughts, before Gideon, glancing over at the TV, gave an unexpected smile. Hotch saw it, and was jerked from his musings, asking, "What?"

"Oh, nothing," the older man murmured, still with a contented smile on his face. "Just remembering the discovery Spencer made this morning…"

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_The sun wasn't even up when little Reid opened his eyes. Disoriented by the dark room, he whimpered softly – where was his light? Gideon always left a light on in the hall for him – they knew he and JJ were afraid of the dark, and Derek didn't like it much either. Young as he was, Derek played such an important role in his young life that Spencer was certain that the older boy was afraid of absolutely nothing…and he was fast starting to feel that way about Gideon as well, which confused him a little but which he took in stride with the analytical grace that only Spencer could display. _

_When nothing but silence and night-sounds came to greet him, Spencer crawled tentatively out of bed, shivering in the chilly night air and putting on a burst of panicked speed as he realized that it was still completely dark. JJ's bed was in the middle of their three, next to his rollaway, and Derek's was right at the other side, in the corner of the large study. Because it was in the corner, Spencer couldn't even _see_ Derek, who had become lost in the shadows, bed and all. So instinctively, as a creeping sensation prickled up his little spine, he decided that he couldn't go to his first protector… and it was too dark to go and find Gideon. _

_Tears of frustrated fear started in his eyes, a sudden painful warmth that horrified the little boy. No! He was six now, and that meant he was a big boy, and he wasn't afraid. _

_Why, oh why had he left Nerf under the covers on his bed? _

_Stumbling blindly into the dark – because he'd left his glasses by his bed as well – the little boy sniffled and headed towards the first source of light he saw: fading starlight at the end of the hall, where the dark night seemed a little lighter. Wishing he had Nerf with him, he padded in his pajamas to the sofa and climbed up on it, sitting down hard and sniffing again. _

_A hum started nearby, and there was a sudden burst of light that terrified him, and the little boy shot over the back of the couch and landed with a thud on the floor that brought a jarring pain to his recently healed chest. He cried out, little heart slamming against his chest with rapid-fire fear, but as the sound of voices reached his ears, he overcame his curiosity and peered over the edge of the couch. _

_Oh. _

_There was a cartoon on TV. They'd been watching a movie the night before, rented from the video store at the mall. The Lion King. Spencer had fallen asleep near the beginning, too tired from their long day to watch it all. He watched as Simba the lion was awakened by a funny-looking creature with a striped brown body, and a huge brown animal that looked like a boar. Slowly drawn into the show, and forgetting his fear, he crept forward and climbed back on the couch again, this time removing the remote controls that he'd sat down on and putting them on the table beside him. _

_Gideon found him there later, when the rest of the cabin was awakened by the noise from the TV, curled up among the sofa pillows, eyes fixed with amazement and wonder on the little screen. Simba had just regained his place as the King, and the rain poured down on him as he roared triumphantly from atop Pride Rock. _

_Gideon's focus, however, was on the child. Spencer looked back up at him, then to Hotch, JJ and Derek who had emerged from their own rooms and made their way here, Derek holding JJ by the hand in a comforting grip. _

"_Hi, everyone!" he said, with a bright, guileless smile. _

_Hotch quirked his mouth into a little grin, and glanced at Gideon as if to say: 'He's all yours, my friend.' _

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The unit supervisor chuckled. Spencer had been so excited about the cartoon, they'd had difficulty calming him down again and convincing him to go back to sleep. JJ had been upset that she'd missed most of the story, but Derek had just yawned and leaned against Hotch, half-asleep again once he knew that Spencer wasn't in any danger. They'd had to reassure the little girl that she could watch it again from the part where they'd stopped the DVD.

Later, Derek had mumbled that The Lion King was the first movie Spencer had watched on DVD ever. Before being removed from his mother, Spencer had never even seen a TV before in his life. The Bufords had never let the children watch TV, let alone videos and DVDs. And suddenly the light had come on for them as they realized why Spencer had enjoyed himself so much. He'd been too tired to pay attention the night before, but now…

"It wasn't entirely a _bad_ day, really," Hotch allowed, looking at his coworker with one of his rare smiles, which came out without reservation when he wasn't at work or the office. Gideon nodded.

"Just a _long_ one," the older profiler summarized, and they went back to remembering…

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_Dr Irene Fitzgerald had been compassionate and kind, but nothing she could have said or done could have comforted the two older children that morning. Both displayed definite signs of stress – Derek's expression was shuttered and he kept his head down, scuffing his new shoes as he trailed along beside Gideon, refusing to speak to anyone or do anything for anybody except Gideon. He kept biting his lower lip, a sure sign of an inner anxiety that he refused to voice – but Gideon knew what it was, and sympathized._

_JJ wasn't much different, clinging to him and refusing to walk on her own, wanting to be carried. Thankfully Spencer recognized that Gideon couldn't carry both JJ and him at the same time, and walked along on the other side of the man, uncertain and nervous in his own way as well, simply because he couldn't figure out why Derek and JJ were so upset, and that in turn scared him. _

_The thing was – Hotch had had to go into work today. There was nothing else he could do – Erin Strauss and some of the higher ups had called him in, and so the BAU chief had no other choice. Strauss had made things difficult for him before, and he didn't need her to do so again. He'd been regretful, but his hands had been tied, and so he'd tried to explain to JJ and Derek why he couldn't be with them today. They'd both said that they understood, and that they were all right with just Gideon being there… but now that they were actually here at the doctor's office, both were about seconds away from breaking down – and not in a good way._

_Dr Fitzgerald had understood when Gideon had explained the situation to her, but even she had been unable to do much with any of the children that day. Derek and she actually managed to chat just fine for a while - until she asked about his past, after which he seemed to shut down completely, and JJ had refused to speak to her at all without Gideon present. Spencer had followed JJ's lead, and all the doctor had remarked by the end of it was that it was incredible how quickly the children had bonded to the men, and they to the children. _

_She patted Gideon's arm. "I'll get my report done for Social Services. And perhaps, Agent Gideon, once they're a little more settled again…" She handed him her card. "You can bring them back to me, anytime."_

_Having observed her methods first-hand, Gideon had approved of the doctor, and had seen that she really was good. It wasn't her fault that the children refused to cooperate today. Sincerely, he thanked her and assured her that he would, if the children agreed. _

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"Was that when you bumped into Peterson?" Hotch asked, glancing at Gideon. "After you left Dr Fitzgerald's office?"

The older man nodded absently. "She was in the ice cream shop when we went in."

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_Winterland, a new ice-cream store which had just opened up near the center of town, was a family-themed ice-cream parlor, boasting a selection of at least 300 different flavors on their menu – a list that apparently, was still growing. There was an area for children to play, and other types of desserts as well, so Gideon felt safe to bring the kids inside. He was hoping a sweet treat would help to settle them, and had already promised that they would go and pick Hotch up from work – an announcement that had, at least, encouraged JJ to finally loosen her death grip around his neck and start walking on her own. She still stayed close to him, but was slowly regaining her enthusiasm and bubbly personality, and that told Gideon that they were probably going to be all right._

"_All right, kids, what flavor ice creams do we want, and how much?" he asked._

_Derek was scanning the large menu board behind the counter. He brightened. "Agent Gideon, they have waffles!" _

"_I want vanilla," Spencer said softly, and JJ just shrugged. Squeezing her shoulder gently, Gideon ordered a vanilla double-scoop for Spencer, mint with chocolate sprinkles for JJ, and waffles with chocolate ice cream for Derek. It wasn't a conventional tea-time snack, but he felt they deserved it, and later he'd make up for it with a nutritious dinner. _

"'_Fank you," JJ whispered, as he led them to a table to wait for their order to be delivered. He swallowed hard – the session with Irene had, if nothing else, revealed that when JJ was stressed, she had difficulty pronouncing her words. The psychiatrist had assured him that she would grow out of it, but for now…_

"_You're welcome, sweetpea," he told her, tickling her gently as he guided her along, and she squirmed with a muted giggle. _

"_Ar' we goin' t' Hotch's offis?" she wanted to know._

"_We sure are," he promised. "After we're done here, all right?" And he was amazed, yet not surprised that the sessions had taken an almost the entire morning and the better part of the afternoon. No wonder the kids were stressed. They'd had to explore some dark areas of their past that they'd been reluctant to revisit, and more than once had broken down in tears. The emotional lashing had been hard on all of them – and Gideon wasn't exempted, being the closest source of comfort and security any of them had. _

_They were about halfway through their ice creams when something caught Spencer's eye. The little boy was almost done with his ice cream, determined not to waste even the melted mush that the vanilla had become, when he looked up, distracted by the sound of the door chime sounding. He paused and frowned, looking suddenly upset, and alerted Gideon with a tug on his sleeve. _

"_That lady's been beat up real bad, Jason," he whispered to him. "You're an FBI agent… can't you help her?"_

_Derek and JJ slowly turned around in their seats to get a look at the young woman who had just stumbled into the shop. Blood poured from a wound on her head, and her soft cotton jacket had been torn in two places. Barely conscious, she fell more than walked through the door, and instantly there was an outcry as people starting getting up, moving to help. Some stayed in their chairs, some discreetly kept eating as other people moved forward – but for the most part, Gideon was heartened by the kindness of these bystanders. And then, he caught sight of her face, and was shocked to find that he knew the woman. _

"_Peterson?"_

_Three little heads turned to him right away. "You know her?" Derek asked, his little mouth surrounded by a ring of sticky chocolate. _

_Gideon couldn't answer, because right at that moment, a very tall man came storming through the door as well, causing all the well-meaning bystanders to back up very quickly, because the man's body language screamed of aggression and barely-contained violence. The young woman cried out as she saw him, and she staggered to her feet. _

"_Go away," she cried, in a voice somewhere between a command and a plea. "Leave me alone, you freak!" _

_The man snapped out a word that had Gideon attempting to cover the children's sensitive ears – and several other parents echoed his actions with their own little ones, gasping in shock and outrage. Derek frowned – he apparently knew what it meant, even if none of the other children in the store did. _

"_She isn't! She's a nice lady, and she's hurt!" he cried fiercely. "And my Dad's an FBI agent, so you better get lost, Mister, or he'll 'rrest you!" _

_Jason's eyebrows shot up to the top of his head in alarm, even as something deep inside him warmed at the fact that Derek had called him his 'Dad'. Still, he gathered JJ and Spencer behind him and reached for the older boy as well, as the well-meaning shout had everyone turning to face him. Especially when Derek turned to him with trusting brown eyes and said, "You'll 'rrest him, won't you, Jason? Won't ya?"_

_He swallowed hard, feeling like a probationary agent all over again, faced with his very first challenge on the job. JJ and Spencer looked up at him as well, and he was suddenly very well and truly placed in the spotlight._

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Hotch chuckled as Jason finished recounting the story. "That how Detective Bernard down at the station got a call about a disturbance down at the new ice cream parlor?"

Gideon half-glared at him, then smiled. "I would have done it even they weren't giving me the 'Big Eyes'," he defended. "People were already going to call 911. I happened to have the Chief's number with me and I called Bernard first, that's all. Then I got an ambulance for Adrixa."

Adrixa Peterson was their pilot, a young woman with exceptional flying skills who had been piloting their private plane for them for about two or three years now, which was pretty amazing. But recently she'd been laid off due to budget cuts, and a less skilled pilot had been brought in, a man who earned a lower salary because he wasn't as qualified. It had infuriated Hotch, because even if he wasn't all that close, Adrixa – or "Dax", as she was known to their team – had been a safe pilot, and they'd never been delayed or late with her in charge. The new man with them had almost crashed their plane once, and Hotch had almost chewed him a new one when they'd landed – but the higher ups who had approved the new budget had made their decision, and he supposed he shouldn't have taken it out on the new guy, incompetent fool that he was.

Now he knew Dax had been searching for a job – but he wasn't sure how she had ended up with Billy Bricker, the man who had nearly beaten her into oblivion that afternoon. In hospital when Gideon and Detective Bernard had questioned her, she'd said that the man had called her over to his place for a job interview, but had unexpectedly turned hostile, she wasn't sure why. Bernard's men had found the man back at his place with more than 500 packets of pot, though, so they had an idea that drug usage had turned him unstable. Something Dax had said or done unintentionally must have turned him violent, and his temper had done the rest, causing him to attack her and follow her all the way down the street to the ice cream parlor after her interview, for reasons known only to him.

The kids had all been sympathetic, and had begged to be allowed to purchase something for her from the hospital gift shop. In the end, Gideon had taken them down, and they'd had a mixed bouquet sent up, which Dax had properly expressed appreciation for before her head injury and exhaustion had made her fall asleep in the middle of a sentence. She'd been talking to JJ at the time, but the little girl took it all in stride, chattering on even after Dax was unconscious, and only stopping when Derek placed a hand on her shoulder and shook his head with a grin.

With all the confusion, the children had never even noticed that Hotch had come to the hospital to meet them, after being called by Gideon. JJ had been ecstatic to see him again, leaping into his arms with a near-sob, but thankfully she didn't actually start crying. It had just been a very long day, with too much stress and excitement, and she was just relieved that Hotch had come back to them. Derek was less open in showing how glad he was to see the profiler, but his happiness was there in the way he squeezed Hotch's hand and came closer to the other man.

Hotch had apologized for not being with them, and being the forgiving souls they were, the children had accepted his apology. Then, they'd spent the rest of their time in the hospital with Dax until Gideon had said they really had to get back.

So… here they were, after a very eventful day, trying hard to relax and be glad that it was over – and that tomorrow would be a whole new day. Tomorrow they would meet with Aileen Chow, who had called them to discuss their next move… which was why they had to sit down and discuss things tonight.

The root of the problem was: Prentiss had suggested a temporary solution, which now might have to become more permanent. No other suitable guardians could be found for the children, no other homes were willing to open up and take them all in – and still honor Hotch's promise to them. And Gideon still wanted to take in Spencer… who did not want to leave the other two who were like brother and sister to him. To separate them, after they had lived together and become a small family of their own… could they do it? And Derek and JJ had bonded to Hotch – who was having family problems of his own. For Gideon, this meant that Hotch had an even more important decision to make. The BAU unit chief had been staying with him at his cabin, and if Gideon made the decision to take all three children… where would Hotch fit in?

It couldn't really be decided in one night, not without careful contemplation, but…

"Hotch?"

A small voice sounded from the hallway nearby, and the profiler turned to see Derek, leaning against the wall, his pillow dangling from his hand. He seemed very hesitant about being here at all, so Hotch moved to him before he changed his mind.

"What's wrong, champ?" he asked.

Derek hesitated.

"I…"

Hotch almost reached out to him, but there was something about the look in Derek's eyes that told him not to push. His father's instincts were screaming at him that something was wrong, and he needed to fix it, and make it better. But Derek wasn't just any child. He was a little boy with a bad past, and he'd only recently learned to trust adults again. He had bonded to Hotch, but if Hotch pushed him to trust or accept affection before he was ready… it might destroy their new bond and then all would be lost.

Like it or not, Hotch wasn't willing to risk that fragile new trust… and so he had to wait for Derek to decide to trust him.

A car pulled up outside, and the boy's eyes widened. Hotch frowned, cursing their visitor's timing, but it was done. Seeing that they were about to have company, the boy backed away.

"I'll come back later," he mumbled. "It's not important."

"Derek, wait," began Hotch, but the boy dodged his hand and disappeared, headed back to the children's room. The agent sighed, but let it go. If it were truly important… well, he hoped Derek would come back.

Gideon gave him a sympathetic look when he turned around. "You go after him," he said. "I'll see who it is."

Hotch frowned. "You sure?"

Gideon waved impatiently at him. "Go. Something's up – he needs you. Go after him… better that, than spend the rest of your life wishing you had."

The other man needed no further encouragement – the boy meant almost as much to him as his own son did by now, and he disappeared down the hall.

Gideon watched him go, his trademark thoughtful half-smile on his face as his friend went after the boy who had come to mean so much to them both even in such a short time.

He wasn't sure anymore if things would work out, but he knew what he was hoping for.

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Please review!

RK9.


	7. Healing Soulhurt

**Author's notes: **The song does not belong to me, it belongs to Michael Bolton. I do not claim to have much medical knowledge, what little is in this chapter is from the Mag 7 LB fic, "Adventures in Babysitting". I did not steal anything from there, just the info, which I supplemented with stuff from Wikipedia.

I am currently in Singapore visiting my aunts and cousins, and will be heading back tomorrow.

Sue1313 - Well, there's no slash involved, so I wouldn't think of Gideon as the 'mom' or 'dad'... xD I'd say they're both dads, which is so cool. Emily and Rossi will probably join us soon... if I can wrangle the time to write them. :)

m - Oh, yes, I'm hoping for more Hotch/Spencer interaction too! Don't worry, if not the founding fic, then future fics in this series will probably have some Hotch/Spencer moments... maybe you could even write it yourself, if you wanted to. :) Right now, they're all forming bonds, they're adjusting and figuring stuff out... so I don't know if I can fit Hotch/Spencer in here. I'll try. Thanks!

Sarai - It's beautiful, isn't it, the Little Britches series? Thank Barbretta Hayden and JoyK for that - I really enjoy it, too. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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**Chapter 7 **

Aaron Hotchner had chased down many suspects in his lifetime, but somehow, not a single one of them had been as difficult to collar as this slippery eight-year-old boy was. Derek was running scared from him, and it hurt Hotch to think that he was, but even in his fear, the same survival instincts that had kept him and the two younger children alive on the streets for the past year now helped him evade the man, and finally, Hotch stopped when he found he'd basically chased the child in a circle and ended up back in the living room, having lost Derek somewhere along the way. He heaved a frustrated sigh, thinking that he might need Gideon's help after all. Concerned about the little boy, he found that he had forgotten about their late night visitor – until he looked up, and found Gideon letting in his ex-wife.

"Haley?" he asked stupidly, staring at the woman in stunned surprise. "What are you doing here?"

His wife was looking cautiously around the cabin, holding her purse almost protectively in front of her chest as she took in her surroundings. Gideon gently ushered her further inside, towards the couch, and excused himself to get the woman a drink. Haley seemed to come to herself, and her gaze clashed with Hotch's, and for a moment the BAU unit supervisor felt a rush of fierce emotion, among them some remnants of strong love for the woman who had walked out on him and taken their son with her. Then it faded, and he too came to his senses as he calmly repeated the question, taking a seat opposite her and schooling his expression to not reveal quite so much of his inner thoughts and naked emotions.

Haley sighed. "Jack," she said simply, and Hotch frowned.

"Is he all right?" he asked at once, but his ex-wife shook her head.

"No, I mean – Jack's fine. But he spun me such a strange story about you being 'Daddy' for some other kids now – I had to come here and ask you about it myself. Aaron, have you adopted some foster children without telling me?" And as Haley turned to him with wide, slightly confused eyes, Hotch sighed, wondering how to explain it to her.

He and Haley were slightly awkward around each other now, though for Jack's sake they tried to hide it when with him. Their son was still too young, and though some would argue that it only meant that he couldn't feel the full harshness of the divorce, Hotch knew that Jack _did_ understand some of it, and was probably confused and hurt by the way his parents, once so loving and together, were now distant and separate from each other, held together by the thinnest of bonds – and yet, one of the strongest as well - their love for their son. Jack was the reason they were still friends and still in contact with each other, and Hotch didn't see why that should have to change. Still, he could imagine that the little boy might have confused his mother a little as to the true nature of his relationship with the three street kids who had captured his and his team's hearts… and now he sought to rectify that as best as he could.

"Haley," he explained, "If I had adopted a new son or daughter, I would have cleared it with you and Jack first. I wouldn't play around with Jack's feelings like that, risking making him feel unwanted or as though he'd lost his father – and I wouldn't do something like that to you either." He paused, then, as Gideon returned with some steaming coffee mugs on a tray, he began to outline the story since finding the children in Chicago, and the events that had led them to this point in time, today. He kept it brief and to the point, almost like when summarizing a case for his team, or a profile for a group of officers and detectives, and was glad to see relieved enlightenment in Haley's eyes when he was done, even if it was a little cautious and uncertain. He understood her position, he really did – she was worried about their son and how he might be seeing this – and Hotch hoped he wasn't wrong, but he'd thought during their phone call the other night that Jack did understand why the kids were here, and that it was only… temporary.

Gideon stayed out of their discussion, sipping at his own mug in the corner, but listening and offering Hotch silent support from behind-the-scenes, for which the younger profiler was grateful.

"Aaron." Haley twisted her mug in his hands and looked at him. "If these children will still be with you for a while – what about Jack?"

"Nothing's going to change between me and Jack," Hotch said, a little defensive. "He's my son, I love him."

"I know," she said, and seemed almost apologetic. "But Aaron – tomorrow, when he's supposed to spend the weekend with you… can I still bring him over, with these children here? Shall I bring him here, or to your house, or what? And if you cancel his weekend with you again, well – he's going to want to know why, and I have to explain it to him… I'd rather you didn't, I don't know, inform me about changes in plan at the last minute."

Changes in plan? But – Hotch hesitated, then realized that yes, he had remembered that Jack would be spending the weekend with him, but no, he had forgotten to think through his plans for his son's visit. Haley gave him a knowing look, one that said she knew that it had slipped his mind, and she understood, but at the same time there was firmness in her gaze that told him that he had to make a decision about things, and soon.

Hotch opened his mouth to speak – and at that exact moment, there was a frightened cry of his name from the children's room.

"Hotch! Hotch!"

Not even a few seconds later, Haley Hotchner found herself alone in the living room with three half-finished mugs of coffee, staring rather bemusedly after the two men who had rushed off helter-skelter towards the room that had once been Gideon's study.

After a moment, and a few more panic-filled cries, her mother's instincts took over and she moved quickly towards the room as well, with every intention of finding out exactly what was going on.

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_It was Spencer who had woken JJ up, frantically shaking her thin shoulders until she cracked her eyes open. _

"_There's a monster in the room," he whispered urgently as JJ blinked and rubbed tiredly at her eyes. "And it ate Derek!"_

_Monster? JJ stumbled out of bed, and went for the light switch. Her brain, half-asleep still, instinctively knew that monsters disappeared when the light came on. Spencer trailed after her, clinging anxiously to her arm and whimpering, and she patted him on the shoulder encouragingly, having gotten used to putting Spencer's fears at ease over the past year while living with the boys on the street. But this time, Spencer was not so easily comforted. Shaking, he lifted his finger and pointed to Derek's bed._

_They couldn't see the older boy at all, but there was a moving lump beneath the blankets from which soft moans were coming. JJ looked at Spencer, and the little boy looked back at her. Then, with a sudden burst of bravado, the little boy squared his shoulders, looked at JJ, and declared, "_I'm_ the boy_. I_ gotta take care of _you_, JJ. I'll go check on the monster."_

_It was sweet of him, but JJ was older and she knew that it wasn't a monster. Something was wrong. When Spencer bravely moved towards the heaving blanket, she followed, determined to protect _him_ if she had to – though from what, she wasn't sure. The little boy lifted the blanket, and she gave a soft, shocked cry as Derek was revealed, sweaty and shivering and curled up with his arms wrapped around his tummy. _

_And he was crying. _

_It confused Spencer, who had never really seen the older boy cry, but JJ just moved forward and touched her hand to Derek's face, checking his temperature and unconsciously mirroring what her mother – now but the faintest of memories in her mind – had done for her long ago, when she'd been sick as a baby. He was warm, and clammy, and she could tell from his cries that he was in pain. He flinched away from her touch, then groaned, rolled over, and threw up over the side. _

_It was gross, but it spurred JJ into action, and before she knew what she was doing, she'd turned towards the door and shouted for the one person whom she knew would be able to make Derek better. _

"_Hotch! Hotch!" _

_For a moment, desperation seized the little girl, as she searched her memories and realized that she could not remember any adults coming to her when she needed them, not since her parents had died. The fear faded as she heard running footsteps, and suddenly Hotch was there, in the room, and with a soft, relieved cry, JJ glommed onto his leg._

_Spencer, meanwhile, had run to Gideon for a hug of his own. Without really thinking about it, or understanding the rush of relieved emotion that was rushing through her, JJ looked up at Hotch and pleaded: "Derek's hurt, Hotch. _Fix him_."_

_Because somewhere, deep inside her little girl heart, she was absolutely sure that Hotch could. _

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"Coffee?"

Hotch sighed, but nodded gratefully to Jason as the older man offered him a paper cup of the steaming dark liquid. Neither man had slept that night, and it had been a very long one indeed – though thankfully, not as bad as it could have been.

Haley had been more understanding than he'd expected her to be. She'd been wonderful, in fact, and had done more than he could have asked of her, helping to call 911 for Derek while the men tried to help the hurting child and calm the other two.

Appendicitis. The doctor confirmed Hotch and Gideon's suspicions, and assured them that as long as they removed the appendix before it ruptured, Derek would be fine, and could even go back with them that same night after the operation was over – providing he took it easy once he got home. The little boy had been terrified, but at the same time, he knew he had to let the doctor work if he wanted the pain to stop – still, in a most uncharacteristic manner brought on by his pain and fear, he'd cried, clinging to Hotch's hand like it was a lifeline, and they hadn't been able to pry his grip away. In the end, provided he didn't get in the way, the doctor had agreed to allow the FBI agent into the ER – and once Derek had been sedated, Hotch left to wait outside with Gideon and the other two kids. Haley had gone home, and he wasn't sure if he was grateful or not. Having JJ helped, and he found he didn't have to dwell on his ex-wife and lost family while she was there in his arms, asking him a million questions about what had happened to Derek, would he be okay, would she and Spencer get sick too…and so on, and so on. He did his best to answer, and was strangely gratified when she fell asleep in his arms towards the end of the night. Perhaps it was because his wife and son no longer lived with him – he missed Jack, and that was likely why he now felt so good, to be allowed to play the role of a father again, even if only temporarily.

Hotch accepted the cup and blew on it once before taking a sip of the scalding beverage, but the caffeine woke him up a little, thankfully. Gideon sat down across from him on the other couch in the waiting area – Spencer was stretched out beside him, and JJ was next to Hotch.

"Derek's in recovery now." The older agent had been on a mission to gather information about their young charge, and now he calmly brought Hotch up-to-date on what he had learned. "They'll move him to another room once he's woken up, and then we can take him home with us. We should probably be there with him when he wakes up."

Hotch nodded. "That was fast," he noted tiredly, relieved but still a little surprised. His friend shrugged.

"Well, with the new laprascopic way they do surgery... it's quicker and easier than the old way, and takes less time for the patient to recover from. Dr Cornwall just said to make sure that he doesn't do anything too strenuous, and to make sure he doesn't lift any heavy objects. He'll have three or four small cuts, but those are easy to take care of, and worst he'll have is probably some scars – but little boys like those, don't they? I remember Steven liked them as much as he did getting bandages – like medals of achievement or something, the way he acted."

The other man sighed, absently stroking JJ's hair away from her face as he noted, "Children don't usually get appendicitis, Jason. How did this come on so suddenly? Surely there should have been some gradual symptoms…"

"He did mention a stomachache before dinner," Gideon reminded him. "I was the one who thought he was getting gastric pains… I should have checked further to make sure that was all it was."

"We both should have," Hotch sighed. "At least it's just appendicitis, and we brought him here in time."

"And Hotch – he's going to be fine." Jason gave him a knowing, understanding look, the one that he hated because he knew that it meant that the older man knew him far better than even Hotch knew Jason. He didn't deny or agree, merely pulled his jacket higher on JJ so that she wouldn't be cold – a diversionary tactic, and they both knew it.

"That was what he wanted to see me about," he muttered, still feeling a little guilty because he hadn't seen it coming. What kind of a father was he –

Father?

Shit – Jack. He'd forgotten…

Whipping out his cellphone, he left JJ under Gideon's watchful eye and went to call Haley. He'd tell her that he couldn't have Jack after all this weekend – it wouldn't be fair to his son, to have to share his dad's attention with the other three. Maybe when things had settled down, when he and Gideon didn't have to worry about Derek's recovery…

It did occur to Hotch, seconds before hitting speed dial, that he did have another option to choose. He could leave, for the weekend or longer, and spend time with his beloved son – his flesh and blood, five-year-old son whom he loved so much – and to heck with what that would do to JJ, Derek, and even little Spencer. But then he turned around, and his gaze automatically sought out little JJ's prone form on the couch where he'd been sitting… and he knew he couldn't do it. At the very least, these children were already scarred, injured deep inside where no one, not even themselves, could see it. How could he add to their wounds? How could he hurt them any further, knowing that he was already emotionally invested in their lives, and he was as attached to them as they were to him by now? If he'd wanted to back out, he should have done so long ago, when he'd first seen Derek and JJ about to walk into the warehouse where Benny Harrington had holed himself up with the children he'd kidnapped and abused. Heck, he should have ignored them starting from when he'd seen them at the school.

Jack, he could see again, anytime. He had the rest of his biological son's life, even if only for the odd weekend at a time. But these three…

The words "temporary custody" had never sounded quite so ominous to him before.

"Hello?" Haley's voice sounded on the other end, and he realized that he'd pressed the button automatically. Startled, he nonetheless answered with,

"Haley? It's Aaron. Uh, listen – about Jack's visit…"

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They brought all three children home just before dawn the next morning. Derek was awake now, and quiet, but seemed content to cling to Hotch as the tall man carried him in. He hadn't spoken since the surgery, really, a fact which was starting to worry the men.

JJ and Spencer, however, seemed used to this new side of Derek, and were just glad that their friend was okay. JJ insisted on helping to tuck him in, and Spencer offered to lend him Nerf – but the older boy broke his silence at last just to say, "No, thanks, Spencer."

Not in the least offended, Spencer just took Nerf back with barely hidden relief and snuggled him close with a yawn, allowing Gideon to herd him towards his rollaway. Hotch did not leave Derek's side, but he did have to coax JJ to sleep in her own bed – "You could hurt his tummy without meaning to, sweetheart" – before he could make the little girl go back to sleep, for what was left of the night… uh, morning.

Derek closed his eyes and rolled over, holding a small pillow to his stomach so that he could get comfortable. Hotch hesitated, again certain that something was wrong, even if he couldn't say exactly what.

He'd be damned this time if he didn't find out exactly what, though.

Hesitantly, he got up, as if to leave, watching the boy to see what he would do. The curly-haired head whipped around with wide dark eyes, tinged with the tint of fear and disappointment. There was also a little bit of resigned acceptance, and Hotch had to fight the instinct that told him to turn and head back immediately, to soothe those emotions from the dark gaze. The boy wouldn't respond well to that; he just wouldn't – the profiler in Hotch was certain of that.

"Derek?" he asked instead, carefully modulating his question so it sounded casual.

The little boy hesitated, a repeat of what he had done earlier that same night, just before Haley's inopportune arrival. This time though, nothing broke his courage, nothing interrupted to cripple his bravely extended and hard-won trust – and Hotch did move forward as the little boy threw back his covers and started to get back out of his bed. He caught Derek before his feet could touch the floor, and drew him close. Two hearts merged that night, one lonely and hurting, the other equally lonely… and filled with love and healing for the other, even if much of it was unrealized.

"'M sorry," Derek mumbled against Hotch's neck, burying his face in the man's shoulder as Aaron held him.

"Nothing to be sorry for." Hotch gently rocked him, moving from the room so they could have some privacy outside – something which he knew Derek craved. Much as he loved JJ and Spencer, the boy had already shown that trust was something he found difficult to extend – it was amazing that he had given Hotch even this much.

"Your stomach hurting?" Aaron asked softly, and Derek shook his head. They made their way to the living room in silence, unbroken until Hotch lay Derek down, and sat beside him, positioning the boy's head on his lap. The child sighed, and they listened to the sounds of the approaching sunrise for a long while before he spoke again.

"I was scared." He played with a loose thread on Hotch's pants. "My tummy hurt, but I was scared you and Agent Gideon'd send me away."

The profiler frowned. "We promised we'd take care of you, champ," he reminded the boy softly. "What made you think we'd do that?"

The thin shoulders shrugged. Derek seemed confused, uncertain. He _was_ eight – Hotch theorized that he probably didn't know yet, himself. His voice was soft and sad in the faded light of dawn, more open and vulnerable than he'd ever let himself sound in front of Hotch or Jason before – at least, not while awake.

"People always send kids away when we complain too much, or make too much fuss about nothing," he mumbled, voice thick with wistful emotion. "I didn't wanna be a bother."

Hotch stroked some fringe away, fighting the urge to clench his fists – the already insecure boy would just take it as anger towards _him_, and Hotch didn't want that. Muttering curses against the Bufords and whoever had made this innocent little boy into the wary little street tough he was today, he calmed himself enough to reassure: "Derek. I can promise you, nothing that you could do could make us send you away. We said we'd take care of you, at least until they find a family who can take better care of you than we can, and we've always kept our promises so far, haven't we? You're stuck with us now, champ – and if you're ever hurt or sick, we need to know about it so we can help make you better. You -" he paused, then went on gently, "Well, we almost lost you tonight, son. You really scared JJ and Spencer – Gideon and me, too. Just – tell me next time, all right? Please, Derek? Don't scare me like that again – I don't want to lose you, or JJ and Spencer. You may not be my biological, natural-born kids, but… you're all still my kids, and I care about you."

The child stilled in his arms, and for a moment he was afraid he'd been too open, revealed too much, and Derek was rejecting Hotch's offer of caring and affection because it was something he no longer believed in. But then the boy turned and smiled shyly up at him, and all he said was, "I don't think no growed-up has ever said please to me before, Hotch."

Hotch hugged the small body close in response. "This growed-up cares about you too much to _not_ say it, champ."

Derek snuggled closer. "Ya mean it?" he asked, with only the tiniest suggestion of suspicion that said he was trying to believe, that he really did want to.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't."

The boy smiled. As if on cue, they both turned towards the lightening window, and Derek gasped.

"The sky's on fire, Hotch," he whispered, awed. The profiler chuckled.

"That's just the sunrise, champ," he informed him. "And it's something special that we get to watch it here, together. I used to do this with my son when I got back home late from working a case in another state, before my wife left. Jack loved sunrises, and I grew to enjoy them too."

Derek digested that, eyes still on the sky. Then, in an unexpected and cautious display of thoughtfulness, he patted Hotch's arm and whispered, "You can pretend I'm your son, if you want. I don't mind. Just in case you miss him and this makes you sad."

Touched, all Hotch could do was thank him and admit, "I do miss him, Derek."

… _but I don't have to pretend that you're my son._

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The sun had just risen over the woods that surrounded the sides and back of the cabin, and Gideon found himself woken from a sound sleep. He'd dozed off in his bed after Hotch had left the children's room with Derek, but now… he could have sworn he'd heard something coming from the living room.

Yawning, the older man stretched and groaned, hearing his bones creak. He wasn't getting any younger – though he'd felt pretty damned young these past few days, thanks to the children. Getting up, he padded tiredly into the hall to investigate.

"_We may be strangers  
We may be worlds apart sometimes  
And it's hard to accept  
The things we just don't understand  
So blind to each other  
We only see one side of nowhere  
Some things we may never know  
If there's one thing you should ever know…"_

Gideon paused mid-step, one eyebrow lifting in disbelief.

Was that Hotch? And was the other man… singing?

_"Soul of my soul, heart of my heart  
The greatest treasure of my life that's what you are  
Soul of my soul, child of my heart  
I love you more than you know, soul of my soul…"_

The older man stopped at the corner of the hallway, just before entering the hall. In the strengthening light, he could see Hotch rocking a small, sleeping boy in his arms, standing in front of the living room windows and watching the sunrise. The older man was singing softly in a warm tenor, and though Gideon had heard better singers in his lifetime, he decided that none of them could hold a candle right now to this heart-warming scene of caring and love. The love in Hotch's voice, clear to the man who had spent years studying human behavior, easily surpassed even the greatest of the songbirds that Gideon had ever listened to, and the emotion in the words seared right through to the man's heart. This song – he'd heard Hotch singing it to Jack before, it was their special father-son lullaby.

And now, Hotch was singing it to Derek.

_"Into this world  
We come with a heart that's open wide  
And the best of this life  
Is all I ever want for you  
The love you believe in, your every dream  
Your every passion  
In time I know you'll come to see  
Nothing means as much to me_

_Soul of my soul, heart of my heart  
The greatest treasure of my life that's what you are  
Soul of my soul, child of my heart  
I love you more than you know, soul of my soul_

_There'll come a time when you'll be on your own  
But in your heart you're never far from home  
Every road you take  
Your every living day  
You will always be, you will always be  
The soul of my soul_

_Soul of my soul, heart of my heart  
The greatest treasure of my life that's what you are  
Soul of my soul, child of my heart  
I love you more than you know, soul of my soul_

_Soul of my soul, heart of my heart  
Some kind of miracle of life that's what you are  
Blood of my blood, light of my life  
You mean much more than you know  
Soul of my soul…"_

Derek had fallen asleep by the second chorus, and Gideon was back in bed by the time the other man finished the song and turned around, quietly contemplative, as he carried the little boy back to his bed.

Yes, he had a lot to think about, and he wasn't sure he had enough time to finish thinking about it. But right now, with this child in his arms, he had the hope that he would somehow manage to make the right choices…

For himself, and everyone else who was involved.

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Review, please.

RK9.

Ps - I made a video trailer for this fanfiction, which can be found on YouTube - http : / / www . youtube . com / watch ? v (equals sign) ww7tA_w16lI

Just remove the spaces and insert the equals sign where stated, and copy-paste the address to your browser. :)


	8. Hotch's Choice: Between Denial & Destiny

**Author's notes: **In case you miss it, the chapter title is a reference to the term: "Hobson's Choice". According to Wikipedia:

"A Hobson's choice is a free choice in which only one option is offered, and one may refuse to take that option. The choice is therefore between taking the option or not taking it, colloquially formulated as "take it or leave it.

_Hobson's choice_ is different from:

- a choice between limited options  
- Blackmail and extortion— the choice between paying money (or other economic good) and suffering an unpleasant action  
- False dilemma — only two choices are considered, when in fact there are others  
- Catch-22 and Morton's Fork— all choices yield equivalent, often undesirable, results"

I realize it may not accurately describe the conditions of this chapter, but... it describes, in a way, the choice that has to be made.

Thank you to all who have reviewed. I hope you continue to enjoy this fic. The reason this chapter took longer to churn out was because of lack of muse, time... and it's a couple pages longer in MWord than I'm used to doing. Anyway, sorry for the wait, and enjoy. :)

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**Chapter 8**

"_No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child."  
~Emma Goldman_

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The little "family", tired from the night before, slept the entire morning away, until JJ and Spencer woke each other up sometime around noon. JJ, the amazing sleeper that she was, somehow managed to slide right off her bed and onto the floor – and slept on her head, body leaning against the side of her bed, with one foot stretching up into the air so that her toes brushed Spencer's face. The little boy sneezed and woke up, and automatically, JJ woke too, startled by the sudden noise.

For one sleepy moment, the children just looked at each other, making the transition from sleep to wakefulness. Then, with a blink, Spencer leapt from his bed and raced over to Derek's bed on the other side of the room, JJ not far behind him.

"Spencer, wait!" she hissed, worried. "You're gonna wake him up!"

Spencer hit the bed, and peered anxiously at the curled up form beneath the blankets, bracing himself with one hand one either side of Derek's body. He didn't understand what JJ was so worried about – he _wanted_ to wake Derek up, after all. Derek was still asleep though, even with him bumping the bed, so the younger boy reluctantly withdrew. Turning to JJ, he shrugged.

"He's out cold," he stated with a sigh, and JJ giggled.

"Let's go wake up Gideon!" she suggested, and the little boy nodded eagerly, and they both ran out of the room to give Gideon an unexpected, unrequested wake-up call.

On the bed, Derek cracked open one eye, grumbling under his breath, and rolled over carefully to try and go back to sleep.

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Outside, two children had found that waking up Jason Gideon wasn't as easy as they'd thought it would be. At their previous group home, they'd been taught never to enter the adults' bedroom unless someone was practically dying… Now they were less worried about breaking a rule here, having learned that Hotch and Gideon were very different from the Bufords, but - Gideon wouldn't wake up.

JJ looked at Spencer and shrugged, a little concerned.

"You think he's sick?" Spencer asked, almost forgetting to whisper.

"I don't know…" JJ leaned in closer, frowning anxiously, and then let out a little shriek as suddenly the blankets flew off Gideon and covered her from head to toe, and she was caught up and settled gently over a familiar, broad shoulder. She was just about to panic when suddenly part of the blanket was lifted from her face, and she found herself looking into Gideon's twinkling eyes. Relaxing, she let out a burst of delighted giggles instead.

Spencer, who had also been startled when the blankets had seemed to come alive and attack JJ, had backed away towards the wall. Now, glad that it was only Gideon, he rushed forward and pulled on the blankets, and Gideon reached down and scooped him up too.

"What are you doing?" the little boy asked, looking at him with slightly puzzled, curious brown eyes.

Gideon paused in his play, then dropped both children gently on the bed, blankets and all.

"Sorry, Spencer," he apologized. "I was playing with JJ. Did I scare you?"

"Only a little," JJ said, wriggling free and climbing right back into Gideon's arms. "I'm hung'y," she declared. "Is it time for breakfast yet?"

Spencer looked contemplative and thoughtful, apparently digesting this new piece of information and thinking it over. It was a little sad to realize that even this type of play was a new experience for the solemn, intelligent child. The profiler picked him up as well, and snuck a glance at the clock. 12.32pm. Hm.

"Actually, sweetpea," he answered JJ, "It's past time for lunch. But we did have a long night, so that's all right. Okay, let's see what we can rustle up."

"'Ps-ghetti!" said Spencer at once, having tried and liked Gideon's pasta the day before.

"An' meatballs!" agreed JJ, as Gideon stood up.

"We'll see," he promised, though he rather doubted there was any 'ps-ghetti' left in the house…

JJ wanted to wake Hotch, but Jason doubted that was a good idea, considering how late he'd been up with Derek the night before… or rather, early that morning. The little girl understood when he said it was probably a better idea to let Hotch get some sleep, and Jason was grateful. Miraculously, there was some leftover spaghetti, though no meatballs, so he improvised with chicken chunks and some sauce from a jar. JJ and Spencer helped him with the salad, taking turns to mix it, and Gideon was just grateful their enthusiasm didn't leave too much of the veggies strewn over his kitchen island…

"Jason, there's a car outside!" Spencer had deserted his post and run off with the mixing spoon, leaving a protesting JJ holding the bowl and balancing on the chair that they'd both been sitting on. Gideon's arm snaked out and caught the little girl before she overbalanced, then he looked up and spotted two familiar and very welcome people approaching the front door.

"Spencer, wait!" he called out, but it was too late, the little boy had recognized them too and was running to open the door.

"Agent Prentiss and Agent Rossi!" he called excitedly, and was startled as Jason came running to scoop him up and stop him.

"Spencer," panted the older man, as JJ came running up behind him, "The rule in this house, is that no children are allowed to open the door for people unless an adult is present and has given them permission. Even if it's for someone you know… because it's not safe, all right?"

"Strangers aren't safe," JJ nodded from behind them. "And no opening the door for people unless you say so."

Spencer nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry, Jason," the little boy said contritely, ducking his head and biting his lower lip.

"It's all right, son," Gideon said, gently chucking him under the chin. "But next time – wait for me, all right?"

He let his two friends inside then, greeting them with questioning eyebrows.

"What brings you two here?" he asked, setting Spencer down so the children could run forward for hugs. Emily scooped up little JJ, hugging her, while Rossi handled Spencer, hauling him up and into his arms like a pro.

"Hotch called us about Derek last night, remember?" the other man said, grinning. "How is he? Did they get the appendix out?"

"We brought presents – and lunch," Prentiss added, winking at JJ and Spencer, "For all the little rugrats…"

JJ giggled. "Presents?"

"Yep – let's have lunch first, then open them, okay?" the female agent beamed at her, as Rossi revealed a large pepperoni pizza to Gideon.

"But Jason's already making 'ps-ghetti," protested Spencer. Jason smiled.

"It's all right, Spencer," he assured the little boy. "There isn't enough for Agent Rossi and Agent Prentiss, and they need to eat too."

"And Hotch and Derek will be hungry later," JJ agreed.

Gideon remembered that Derek might not be able to handle pizza just yet, but he simply nodded to the little girl, not wanting to contradict her.

"Where is Hotch?" Rossi asked, glancing towards the children's room curiously. "With Derek?"

"He and Derek were up late last night," Spencer answered before Gideon could. "Jason says they need ta rest."

"Gideon," JJ whined unexpectedly. "I'm really, _really_ hungry, and I think the 'ps-ghetti is burning…."

The older man's eyes widened and he raced for the kitchen. Thankfully, though the water had boiled over, the pasta strands were only a _little_ too soft… but the two hungry children certainly didn't notice, and while they ate, Rossi and Prentiss made their way to the children's room to find a grouchy Derek, unable to sleep but still tired.

"Hey, kiddo," Rossi said with a smile, moving straight to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Derek considered the question. He was tired, he was irritated, he was surprisingly close to tears - he wanted Hotch. His tummy was sore, but not painful, his hair was sticky with sweat - and he wanted Hotch. He always found it difficult to go back to sleep after being woken up by JJ and Spencer, and he was such a light sleeper that it didn't matter how quiet they were, he would definitely be woken by them. It had been important on the streets, so he could take care of the younger two, but now…

Somehow, none of that came out when he answered Rossi, though. Shrugging his shoulders, he mumbled, "I'm fine."

The two adults exchanged glances, and grinned. The boy had dark circles around his eyes, and could barely stay upright in bed. He was hugging his pillow, and looked miserable. Clearing her throat a little, Emily leaned forward.

"You know what 'fine' stands for?" she asked, conspiratorially. "Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. I'd say you're all of these things right now… But you're not exactly okay, are you, Derek?"

Derek sighed and shook his head. "I can't sleep," he confessed, but kept his other desire firmly hidden inside, determined not to tell anyone just how important the man had come to be in his life. He had made it fine without Hotch, he could do it again.

"Maybe we can help with that…" Rossi brought out the bag of gifts they had brought. "We got you something, because we heard you weren't well…"

Derek's head jerked up. "You guys got me a present?"

"Well, Agent Rossi did," Emily said, and reached into the bag. With a rustle of plastic and paper, she withdrew…

"Eeyore?" Derek raised his eyebrows, slightly incredulous. "You got me an Eeyore flopsie?"

"We sure did," Rossi exchanged a grin and a wink with Emily, which went unnoticed as the eight-year-old uncertainly took the cuddly soft toy from Emily's hand and stared at it. He looked up at them both, the expression on his face clearly stating that he couldn't believe they'd given him such a "baby-ish" toy.

"I'm eight," he pointed out, as politely as he could, given that he wasn't in the best disposition at the moment. "No, thank you."

"Well," Rossi looked seriously at him. "The truth is, Eeyore here, used to belong to my little god-sister, Deanna. She was very sick, and she died. But this was her favorite toy, and when she was sick, she always said he made her feel better, which is why I'm giving him to you – lending it to you," he amended, as Derek shot him another appraising look. "You don't have to keep him… but could you put him on this table here, by your bed at least? It'll make me feel a lot better…"

Deep down inside the hurting soul, Derek Morgan had a very kind heart. Sighing a little and looking rather put out still; he gently placed the blue donkey on the table beside him, and sighed noisily, letting them both know very pointedly about the burden they were placing on him. Rossi nodded his thanks.

"He'll keep an eye on you, and help you go to sleep," he said, gently ruffling the boy's curly hair. "Thank you, Derek."

"Thanks," mumbled Derek, obviously trying to remain polite. He gave the donkey one last narrow-eyed stare, and hugged his pillow to his stomach while Emily tucked him in again.

Rossi winked at the toy as he followed his co-worker from the room. Prentiss eyed him carefully.

"You know, you didn't have a god-sister named Deanna," she murmured softly, for his ears only. The man tilted his head to one side.

"He didn't need to know that," he shrugged. "And he might hate it now, but I happen to believe that all children need at least one teddy bear to hug. They need a Pooky to share secrets with, a Lovey to hug when things get scary or upsetting. My mother always told me that a child's true best friend is their teddy bear. Now me, I had a raggedy old hand-sewn dog – at least, my mother insisted it was a dog – named Chester."

Prentiss grinned. "I had a fairy doll named Nimueh," she confessed. "And you know something, Rossi?"

"What?"

"I think," she enunciated slowly, "that you're starting to care about that little boy. I also think you're starting to get the idea of what it means to be part of a team… and part of a family." And with a smile of her own, she left the startled older man and went towards the sound of Gideon's warm chuckles and the children's voices in the dining room.

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Hotch woke up a little later that afternoon. He hadn't really caught up on his sleep, but then, he was used to operating on little to no rest, especially during a job. Surprised by the amount of noise coming from the living room, he nonetheless peeked in on Derek before making his way there. The little boy was sleeping soundly, so Hotch let him be, closing the door behind him with an actual smile on his face.

"Hotch! Hotch, Hotch, Hotch!"

JJ pounced happily on the startled unit chief, who chuckled as he caught her, only just dodging before her swinging feet caught him in a rather sensitive place. The little girl was covered in sticky white stuff and chocolate stains, and had crumbs across her new shirt – Hotch sniffed, and inhaled the scent of melted marshmallow.

"S'mores?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the rest of his team, who were sitting around Gideon's fireplace. Spencer was focusing completely on where Rossi was making him a s'more of his own, watching the marshmallow and chocolate melt with great fascination. At Hotch's voice, he looked up and beamed.

"We're having a campout!" he said, with a fascinated little grin.

"Yeah, only inside," JJ informed him with a sticky grin. Hotch accepted the wet wipes that Prentiss handed to him, and gently mopped the sticky seven-year-old up. Glancing at Gideon, who was stretched out on the couch with a book, he raised a questioning eyebrow. Jason did not smile back… if anything, he merely looked a little apprehensive. Hotch frowned for a moment, then soon found out why. Squirming in his arms, JJ slipped down, then tugged on Hotch's hand.

"Mrs Hotch and Jack are here," she announced. "They came while you were sleeping, and said they'd wait for y'all to wake up."

She didn't notice Hotch stiffening with shock, nor did she see the warning glance that Gideon sent to his friend.

"Mrs Hotch is real pretty," Spencer said absently. "And Jack couldn't have any s'mores 'cause he's going home for dinner."

"But s'mores _aren't_ dinner," JJ added. Suddenly seeming to realize that Hotch didn't seem all that enthusiastic that his wife and son were here now, she looked up at the man she had come to trust, uncertain and anxious. "Hotch?"

"Haley brought Jack over at about 3pm, Hotch," Prentiss said softly, from where she was sitting in an armchair near Gideon, working on a crossword puzzle. "She knew you said not to, but… it was Jack who wanted to come."

"Hey, Dad!"

Aaron turned to see his son, beaming all over his five-year-old face, standing behind him with a smiling Haley. Jack launched himself at his father, and JJ stepped back so that Hotch could catch the younger boy in a hug.

"Hey, Jack," Hotch greeted the little boy, feeling love for his son push away his initial surprise and awkwardness. He didn't even know why he hadn't felt comfortable about having his son here with the other children… maybe he'd been afraid they wouldn't get along, or that Jack would get jealous and upset?

Maybe he'd been afraid that JJ and Spencer and Derek would get jealous, too, at seeing him with his biological son?

They didn't seem to be. JJ was only uncertain because of Hotch's initial reactions to the news that his ex-wife and son were here, and Spencer was busy accepting his s'more from Rossi, happily eyeing the treat. Jack, it seemed, had already been introduced to them, as the five-year-old did not ask who they were – he and JJ grinned at each other like old friends, in fact.

"What are you doing here?" Hotch asked his son, though he glanced up at his ex-wife as well, slightly confused. "I thought I told mommy not to bring you here, because one of the children wasn't very well?"

Haley cleared her throat gently, interrupting. "Aaron, he's not here to visit _you_," she explained, a soft smile on her face.

"Yeah, Dad," giggled Jack, as Hotch raised an eyebrow. "I's here to visit that little boy, that Mommy said got hurted."

"He came to see Derek," said JJ, her smile saying exactly what she thought of the idea that Hotch's son was showing concern for her 'brother'. "But he and you was sleepin', Hotch."

Jack turned to face her, his little face curious. Hotch tensed a little as he asked, "How come you call my Daddy 'Hotch'?"

But JJ didn't miss a beat, responding simply, "'Cause that's what almost everyone calls him."

"And he didn't say we couldn't," Spencer volunteered, looking cautiously at Hotch as he ate his s'more.

Hotch relaxed, and nodded to the little boy. Jack just nodded, since the answers made sense. The younger boy turned back to his father.

"It's okay that we came, right?" he wanted to know, suddenly uncertain. "I just thought – if someone got hurt, and he didn't have no family… then we should at least just come and visit him. Just for a little while."

Haley interrupted, "I told him it would be okay. We'll head home for dinner."

"Nonsense," said Gideon, at once. "You can stay and have dinner with us."

"We wouldn't want to intrude," Haley hedged uncertainly, slightly awkward, since she hadn't spent time with Hotch's coworkers since leaving Hotch. But she hadn't reckoned on the children.

"Oh, please Mrs Hotch!" JJ said, with an excited smile.

"Yeah!" echoed Spencer, determined to agree with JJ, swiping at some chocolate on his upper lip with his tongue. "Please, Mrs Hotch!"

Haley winced a little at the name, which she no longer used, but then she smiled. Jack cheered. Then, with a big smile for Hotch, he asked shyly, "May we go and see Derek now, Dad, please?"

How could Hotch say no? "If he's awake," he allowed cautiously, but already JJ and Spencer were leading the way.

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As Hotch carried Jack towards the children's room, he was surprised when his son turned solemnly to him, leaning in close to whisper. "Daddy," the five-year-old said with all seriousness, "Can you let me see him by myself? Just me, JJ and Spencer?"

Hotch paused, looking at his son, trying to figure out why he would be making this sudden request. But love and trust won out, Jack was a good kid, and there was certainly no way that he would hurt Derek in any way…

"All right, if that's what you want, Jack," he said, setting his son down outside the door. "But remember, his tummy will be hurting him a little, so watch out, okay?"

Jack beamed up at him. "Thanks, Dad. C'mon, Spencer, JJ."

The two children looked to Hotch, and he nodded encouragingly to them, hoping he was doing the right thing. He waited outside the door anyway as the three of them went in, closing the door behind them, but leaving it slightly ajar. Hotch glanced at Haley and the other adults, who had come after them, and by unspoken agreement, they all gathered close to listen in from behind the door.

They heard some shuffling and rustling, and through the crack Hotch could see Spencer poking at the lump curled up beneath the covers, until a tousle-haired Derek emerged, a blue donkey in his arms and a scowl on his face, that faded into a puzzled wariness as he saw Jack, who came right up to say hi.

"Who're you?"they heard him ask, a little belligerent, but considering that he'd had a late night and not enough sleep, they cut the boy some slack.

"I'm Jack."

"He's Hotch's son, Derek." JJ cut in.

"He told us he wanted to talk to us about something…"Spencer crawled onto the bed, and reluctantly, Derek lifted the covers so his 'brother' could snuggle up next to him on the other side. He didn't seem to mind the graham cracker crumbs and melted chocolate and marshmallow stains, and neither did Spencer. JJ clambered onto the bed as well, and after some hesitation, Jack got onto JJ's bed nearby.

"Daddy told my Mommy that you got hurted," the five-year-old began, with open honesty. "I came to see if you's all right."

"I'm fine," the bigger boy said, almost automatically. Tilting his head, he studied Jack. "You're Hotch's son, huh?"

"Uh-huh. He's my Daddy. And for now, he's yours too, right?"

"Right…" began JJ, but Derek shook his head.

"No he ain't. He's just taking care of us, same as Gideon. This is only temp'rory. That's what they said. Maybe Gideon might take Spencer and keep him, but he didn't say he wants me and JJ too. But Hotch ain't our Daddy, he's yours. He won't never be our Daddy."

Jack frowned, and those watching could definitely see traces of his father in the way his mouth turned down. "I told Daddy I'd share him with you all. He can be your Daddy too."

"But he ain't…"Derek frowned back. "He'll make us leave soon, when they find us another fam'ly. That's what always happens. We'll have to go. It ain't worth the time to pretend."

The listeners outside heard the true meaning behind the eight-year-old's words: _It ain't worth the time to invest any caring and love, because we'll just have to leave in the end._

"But…. Why can't Dad and Gideon be your fam'ly?" Jack looked puzzled and disappointed. "And Auntie Emily and Uncle David and my mommy?"

"Cause… they don't want us,"Derek answered, and the younger two's faces fell and they looked away. "They might want Spencer, but they never said they wanted us…"

Jack looked up. _"_Don't you want them to be your fam'ly?"

The older boy paused, suddenly unable to answer. JJ looked at Derek, then at Jack.

"Of course we do," she whispered, her little chin quivering and her eyes filled with heart-wrenching emotion. "But what we want don't mean a thing if they don't want us…"

"But I'm sure they want you. I'll ask Daddy. I'll ask him if you all can stay. He'll want you all, I know he will."

"How do you know?"Derek challenged him, looking at the smaller boy and meeting his gaze. Jack's chin went up stubbornly – a little boy he might be, but he was absolutely and positively certain that he was right about this.

"I heard Mommy telling Aunt Jessica that Daddy and Gideon have really bonded with all of you, and that it would be very hard if they had to give you all up now. So that means they do love you, and my Mommy's never wrong. I'll ask Daddy myself, and then you'll see. Daddy does want you – but Mommy told me that maybe he doesn't know yet that he does, so you have to tell him! You have to tell him that you want him to be your Daddy, and then he'll know, and he has to tell you that he loves you guys, too. And then… maybe you won't have to leave, and we can all be a family together…"

"Hotch," Gideon whispered quietly, "We'd better get in there now and stop them before Jack gets their hopes too high…"

…_because we don't want to break their hearts, do we?_ The rest of Gideon's sentence hung unspoken in the air, and Hotch nodded, his heart strangely heavy with the burden of indecision. Oh, Jack... "I thought he understood that this was only temporary," he sighed.

Emily stopped both men with a hand on each of their shoulders. Getting their attention, she said slowly, but clearly: "Hotch. Gideon. Thing is, I think Jack understands more than the two of you."

Rossi, of all people, stepped forward to back her up. "You both said it yourself – you've bonded to those children. All of us can clearly see how close you've all become. We're profilers, damn it. Don't tell us that we're imagining things – we read human behavior, and right now we can see what the two of you have been refusing to see. Or maybe, just you, Hotch. Gideon has made his choice – he wants to foster Spencer, he wants to try." He nodded to Jason, who nodded back. Both men faced Hotch.

"Your choice comes now, Hotch," Rossi said clearly, though soft enough that those inside the room would not hear. "Those children have become like your own kids to you, and I know you love your own son, but there's no reason not to care about them too. From what I've heard, Jack has no problems with gaining brothers and sisters… he knows those kids have no family of their own."

"He asked me in the car earlier, if we could adopt them," Haley broke in tentatively. "He couldn't bear the idea that there were kids out there who had no family. He told me that he'd overheard his aunt and me talking, and that if you loved those kids – and Hotch, when I came I saw clearly that you did – then why couldn't you be their Daddy for real? I didn't know what to tell him… except that maybe you didn't know you loved them as much as you did."

"I'm going to take Spencer as my foster son, Aaron," Gideon said quietly. "You can do the same for JJ and Derek, and we know they're already attached to you."

"We know there'll be problems, but we'll face them together," Emily put in, expression gentle and compassionate. "Because Jack's right. Like it or not, we're family, Hotch."

Hotch frowned. "Why is this all down to my decision?" he demanded. "Why is it up to me? Surely there are others who can take those kids in…"

"But those 'others'," Jason interrupted him before he could lose his temper, "Aren't the SSA Aaron Hotchner who have gained their love and trust."

"It's down to you, Hotch, because this decision cannot be made by us, for you. It has to be made by you. We're not saying you _have_ to make this decision, because you definitely don't have to. We're simply pointing out that for the sake of these three young lives… are you prepared to make any other choice?" Rossi spread his hands. "But you can, and if you do… there'll be consequences, and – well, I just don't think that even you can be so blind and stubborn. Don't do it, Hotch. Don't make a decision that you _will_ regret for the rest of your life, and theirs, just because you're afraid to try again with a new family."

Haley gasped a little, and for a moment, pure anger blazed and Hotch made as if he would hit Rossi. His friend faced him, unafraid…

"Daddy?"

Jack and JJ were supporting Derek as he walked slowly towards Hotch. Jack had opened the door, and now he looked up at Aaron. The anger faded, and Hotch sighed as he bent down to quickly take Derek from his son and the little girl. How much had they heard? How much hadn't they heard?

Looking at the trusting young faces turned up to his, Hotch knew his friend was right – the final decision was the most important, and it was his to make, and his alone. Bowing his head and burying it in Derek's sleep-warmed shoulder, he sighed.

"Kids, we need to talk, all of us," he said, as Spencer came trotting out to Gideon's side. "And after that, well, maybe we'll make some decisions that will change things for better… for all of us."

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_In life, for every decision we make, we are faced with at least two choices. It is the choice we make that defines our future._

_- Ernest Joseph_

"_We could be more than just amazing…"_

- _Westlife, Amazing_

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One more chapter to come... or more if muse bites me. xD Thanks for reading, please review!

RK9.


	9. Where We Intended To Be

**Author's notes:** See my profile for why this took so long to upload... I'm kinda tired of explaining it over and over.

Dax/Adrixa is from my other CM fic, btw: **Of Birthdays and Morgan**.

Right, this is the last chapter/epilogue, but.. it's the beginning of a series, and yes, I will be working on more fics set in this very same AU. :) I'm also opening this sandbox to any and all who would like to write in this same AU, all I ask is that:

a) you let me know, so I can link to your fic as part of the same AU (might create a community for this AU, I dunno)  
b) you follow the simple rules: no slash, no adult, and the children are not to be **permanently** removed from Hotch/Gideon's care

That's all. Really. Other than that - go for gold. ;)

To those who are still reading this and hoping for more... trust me, more will come, as soon as I can type them out. I might follow the Little Britches and do a bunch of series... anyone interested in helping me co-write, do PM/email me. :)

Now, on with the final chapter... the end, yet the beginning.

Thank you for following this with me all the way. :)

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**Chapter 9/Epilogue**

"Wait here, all right?" Aileen Chow looked gently at the three children, who looked solemnly back, apprehensive just about being in the social services building. Instinctively, Derek had herded the two younger children into a corner, where they could play by themselves, and he could keep an eye on them, protect them if he had to.

There were other children here, mostly with social workers, and one or two with people who were applying to be their foster parents, but those kids were really small and really quiet, and they avoided the other kids too.

"I'll be right back," Aileen promised. "Just got to clear some final details – try not to get into trouble?"

They nodded as one, and she left, giving them one last smile as she disappeared into a room nearby.

Another woman came up to them, dragging another little boy by the hand. He was scowling, and she firmly made him sit down a chair away from Derek.

"Dustin, behave!" she commanded crossly, obviously at the end of her tether, and the little boy glared back defiantly. He was a little older than Derek, African American, and had short-shaven hair and angry brown eyes. Derek knew those types of kids – they were mean, and he didn't want to get into a fight, not today. This would be tricky – if he avoided complete eye contact, the kid might think he was a pushover, a coward. But if he looked at the boy at all, the older and bigger kid might feel challenged, and start a fight.

Derek knew he didn't need that kind of trouble, not today. So he turned to JJ and Spencer and began to hand them toys from the toy chest in the corner. Spencer clutched a book, a present from Gideon when they'd left the cabin to go with Miss Chow that morning. They'd packed everything up, and left… and they wouldn't be going back.

Derek sighed. It felt like they'd left home, a real home…

"Hey, punk. Why're you over there playing with the little babies? Come over here, hang with the real deal, bro."

The little boy stiffened, warning sirens going off in his head. He turned slowly – the boy's social worker had left, and the boy was looking right at him. His expression was nasty, and there was a definite sneer. Derek bit his lip… and fought to keep his own expression neutral.

Hotch had told him, before he left, to do what Miss Chow said, and be good. That had been the last thing he'd said. Miss Chow had told him to behave. That meant no fighting. Which meant…

"Derek?" JJ looked uncertainly up at him, keeping Spencer back with a hand on his shoulder. The little boy looked scared.

"Just keep playing, JJ," Derek muttered. He looked at the kid. "You ain't my brother," he stated, coolly. His brother was Spencer, and Spencer was right here. "And who I play with ain't no business of yours."

The older boy's face darkened like a storm cloud. Derek stood his ground. He didn't want to fight, but if he had to protect Spencer and JJ, he would. Two social workers exited a nearby office, thankfully, and the boy backed away slightly, but he continued to glare.

"Watch it, punk," he said, very quietly and dangerously. "Mind your manners, or I'll teach you a lesson about mouthing off to me."

Derek snorted a little, but backed away. JJ and Spencer watched wide-eyed, sensing the tension in the air.

Then, Dustin's social worker came back.

"Dustin?" She frowned at the boy's antagonistic stance. "I told you – no more fights, and no bothering other people. Now come on. They've finally got you a new foster home." She glanced at Derek and the others. "You three okay? Waiting for your new group home, are you?"

They stared at her, then Derek shook his head.

"No, ma'am," he said, politely, dipping his head slightly in respect like his mother had taught him to, long ago. "We're waiting for our social worker, Miss Chow."

"She's makin' it 'fishul," Spencer piped up, suddenly excited again. The woman smiled at the adorable six-year-old.

"Making what official, dear?"

"Gideon and Hotch," JJ answered, simply. "She's making it 'fi-shul for them to be our foster dads."

And Derek grinned, wide and proud and happy, strangely excited and happy with just the last two words. It had taken forever – well, really only three weeks – but today was the day, and they were moving in with Hotch and Gideon into their new home. He was still almost afraid to believe it, almost positive that tomorrow he'd wake up, and it would all be a dream or that it would end someday… but Gideon and Hotch had promised, and today would make it so. They were going to be a family.

And not even Dustin could take away his good mood now.

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_They settled around the kitchen table, Derek in Hotch's arms, and there for the first time, they'd had a heart-to-heart discussion and laid bare their hopes and dreams and feelings. It hadn't been easy, but Hotch had finally told JJ and Derek that he'd been considering taking them in as foster children since the first day he'd met them, but had been worried that he was rushing into things. _

"_I don't understand this bond we have," the profiler had said, soft but honest. "To grown-ups, it's important that things make sense sometimes, and this doesn't. But I know it's what I feel, and what I want. I love you kids as much as I love my own son, and how that kind of bond formed in such a short time, I don't know. But it's happened, and…" _

_He'd paused, unable to continue, uncertain how to voice his thoughts. But JJ had finished for him. _

"… _and you want to be our foster Daddy?" Eyes shining, she'd come up shyly for a hug from the man. _

"_Yeah," he'd managed to say. "Yes, JJ, if you, Derek – and everyone else agrees."_

_He didn't even have to ask Jack. The little boy gave a cheer._

"_I always wanted brothers and sisters, Dad," he'd said. "And now when I'm with Mommy, you'll have some kids to take care of you and make sure you're not lonely or missing me too much…"_

_Jack Hotchner's golden heart struck again, a golden arrow into his father's chest._

_With the blessing of even Haley, Hotch had smiled, and looked rather apprehensively at Derek. The little boy had gone still in his arms, and was very silent. "Champ? You all right with that idea?" he asked carefully. _

_Little arms snaked tight around his neck in a hug, and Derek would say or do no more than that. Hotch understood. With this boy, actions always spoke louder than words. Derek wasn't sure how he felt about this yet, but it was enough for Hotch that they boy was willing to try. He had had too many bad experiences with foster care and group homes… even with Hotch and Gideon, Derek was bound to have problems, all three children were. It didn't matter – he did not expect instant happiness, but he did expect rough roads and stormy weather before they reached paradise. _

_Gideon used the opening to turn to Spencer, who looked slightly crestfallen. _

"_Spencer?"_

"_I know," the child said, turning to him solemnly. "You want to be my foster Daddy too, like you said before." _

_The older man's heart sank a little – Spencer didn't look exactly overjoyed about the idea. "You can still see Derek and JJ," he assured the child. "And you'll be like my son…"_

_Spencer nodded. _

"_What's wrong, Spencer?" Rossi cut in gently, as the child continued to look rather morose. "Don't you want to be Jason's foster son?"_

"_No, I do!" the six-year-old protested at once. "But… but…"_

"_But?" prompted Gideon. Spencer turned around in his lap and heaved a heavy sigh. _

"_It's not fair," he said sadly. "How come I don't get to have Hotch as a Dad too?"_

_That was all it was? Relieved, Gideon had actually started chuckling, and soon, the rest of the adults had joined in. Spencer looked puzzled, unable to work out what was so funny – he was being serious!_

"_Well, Spencer," Gideon had said at last, as the laughter died down. "If that's all you're worried about, son, we can definitely work something out."_

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And they had. It had all gone by in rather a whirl, but the men had contacted Miss Chow and told her of the new development, and from there, Miss Chow had come over the very next day, smiling all over her face. She'd said she'd been keeping an eye on their little family – she wasn't surprised at all that they'd made this decision, and she was willing to help them see it through.

There had been a home study, and Hotch had called his lawyer to settle some things about his divorce agreement with Haley, and about his custody of Jack, but otherwise, Miss Chow had said they passed all other requirements. They were above 21, they had proven that they were able to handle the children, and any and all emotional problems or whiplash that they might have, and they were willing to undergo the required training – three three-hour lessons a week for nine weeks – to learn more about what being a foster parent entailed. They had no criminal records, and Aileen had questioned them about their parenting skills and disciplinary measures… and was pleased with what she had learned.

The only thing they hadn't been able to pass, was the answer to the question: What would they do, if they had to be away for a long time doing their jobs in some other state, and had to leave the children behind?

They'd had to think on the idea… but in the end, the solution had come from a most unexpected source – one Adrixa "Dax" Peterson.

They'd gone to visit the former pilot, all three of them wanting to see her before she was discharged. They'd had a good chat, and eventually, as the children went with Hotch to get lunch in the hospital cafeteria, Gideon and the young woman had got to talking, and Dax had revealed that she was hoping to get a job, either as a pilot again… or in childcare. She had no credentials or fancy certificates for the latter position, but she had taken care of her six younger siblings and so she understood children, and had a way with them. It was like a light had gone on inside Gideon's head, and when Hotch returned, it was to find that they now had a new live-in nanny – one they could trust to take care of the house and the kids, even when they were away. Dax had agreed to try a trial basis first, to see if the kids and she worked out, but they already liked her, and were definitely enthusiastic over the idea.

There had been other decisions, with that problem out of the way. Hotch had decided to sell his townhouse, and Gideon his apartment, because they wanted to keep the kids together… which meant living together as one family. While the cabin was a beautiful place, it was just too far from the city and the men's work, and too far from schools and other important places. Also, it was Gideon's special place, where he could come to find peace after the horrors of their job, and none of them wanted to take it away from him. So they'd pooled their resources and started house-hunting, but they hadn't found anything good within their price range… until Rossi had approached with a suggestion from his friend, a single man with a Craftsman home who was moving to California to be with his family. The Craftsman was too big and lonely for him, and difficult to maintain by himself. But it was perfect for a small family… and dog, for Dax had one, a large St Bernard named Ben. He was house-trained and obedient, and she assured the men that he was also very gentle and good with children. They'd decided to build a run beside the house for him, and the children were delighted, having never had a pet before… even though the dog was Dax's, not theirs.

It had taken three long weeks….but here they were.

Derek found himself smiling at the woman. "We don't need no foster home, ma'am," he said, concluding what his 'siblings' had said. "We're a family now, and ain't no one can take us away. That's what Hotch said."

"And I meant every word," a familiar voice stated, and suddenly Hotch was walking towards them, right behind a smiling Aileen Chow. JJ dropped everything to rush over to him, having had enough of the tense situation between the two boys – she knew Hotch would pick her up and comfort her, and he did, scooping her up effortlessly and bussing her nose affectionately with a kiss. The children had seen him do that to Jack before, but this was the first time he'd done it to one of them. JJ was surprised for a moment, but then she giggled and planted a shy butterfly kiss on Hotch's nose. Derek met Hotch's gaze for a moment, and he shuffled his feet uncomfortably, wondering if he was in trouble for back-talking Dustin and the social worker… but then he saw the man smile and knew it was okay. He made his way over for his own hug, eyes bright with happiness and hope.

"Is it 'fishul now?" JJ asked Hotch, voicing Derek's own anxious question.

"Yes, it sure is," Hotch assured them. Taking Derek by the hand as Gideon collected a relieved Spencer, he said simply: "All right. Let's go home."

The word had never sounded so… different, before. But it was a good different, and Derek smiled as he took Hotch's hand and left with his new family.

And _that_ word sounded real nice, too.

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"Momma!" The little boy came racing over the grass in a frenzy of excitement, his worn sneakers slipping and sliding over the freshly sprinkled lawn. His mother sighed a long-suffering but affectionate sigh, and gently stopped him, catching him by the arm.

"Will," she said, exasperated.

"No running on the wet grass," he recited dutifully, with the southern accent that he'd picked up from both his parents. Then, he grinned. "Guess what?"

"You ran on the grass anyway?" his mother quipped, ruffling her son's hair. He giggled, but nothing could deter him from delivering his good news.

"The people who bought Mr Lawton's house are here!" he reported. His mother quirked an eyebrow.

"Where?"

"There, 'cross the street," he said, and pointed. "In that black SUV."

Tess LaMontagne followed her son's small finger across the street, to see at last the family that went with the furniture and mover's trucks that had been in the neighborhood since a week or so ago, moving things into the magnificent Craftsman house that had once belonged to their slightly eccentric but very lovable neighbor, Aldous Lawton. Now the older man had moved out and away, and they'd all heard that a new family would be moving in – Lawton hadn't been very clear on the details, but he'd been happy that his house would be in good hands. And there were supposed to be children, which had made Tess hopeful that Will would be happy with his new neighbors too. The little boy didn't have very many friends in the neighborhood; hopefully that would change soon.

A tall, dark-haired man stepped easily from the driver's seat, removing dark glasses from his face to reveal a handsome profile and sharp, intelligent features. His mouth was at first set in a stern, unsmiling line, but that changed when he reached the backseat and leaned in to unbuckle someone, emerging with a sleeping child, a long-haired tyke that Tess at first assumed was a girl – but when he turned, she realized that it was in actual fact a little boy, with glasses askew, looking absolutely adorable in his sleep. He stirred only a little when another man exited from the passenger side and came to receive him from the first man, but then sighed and snuggled in closer with a smile on his little face.

"Thanks, Hotch," they heard the second man say, as he turned and moved towards the house, where the door opened and a young woman came out to help with the little boy, smiling all over her face.

Two more children stepped out from the SUV then, helped out by Hotch, both rubbing at their eyes and yawning. One was a dear little blonde girl, who seemed to be just a little younger than Will…and the other, to her surprise, was dark-skinned and eyed, at least half-African American from what she could see. That was strange… was he a family friend? But then – why would he be here with them, when they were coming home to their new house for the first time?

The man murmured something to him, and he nodded, reaching into the car to pull out two backpacks, one of which the little girl took from him. The man grabbed a third, probably belonging to the other little boy, and settled his free hand on the boy's shoulder with a smile. The girl leaned against him an sighed a contented, sleepy little sigh, but what really touched Tess was the look of tentative trust in the little boy's face as he smiled back up at the man.

So that was how it was. They were family.

The man glanced up and looked in their direction, catching her and Will staring at them. He gave them a courteous little nod and a smile, and said something softly to the children before guiding them towards the house.

The little girl stumbled ahead of them and into the house, but the man and the boy followed at their own pace, moving together down the driveway. The door closed behind them, and swallowing against a surge of emotion that she could not explain, Tess pulled her son to her and squeezed him tight.

"Momma!" Horrified and embarrassed, Will wriggled free, scanning the street in utter mortification for any potential witnesses. "What was that for?"

Tess wasn't sure. But she did know that she really wanted to spend some time with her own family right now, for a while, and tomorrow, perhaps she would go over, and get to know the new family in their part of town.

She was already pretty certain that they were going to fit in just fine… and leave their footprints on other people's hearts.

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"_I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be_._"_ ****_Douglas Noel Adam_

"_Everything ends. But there are always new beginnings." ~ Ralph Bellamy_

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Um... surprise? ;) Yes, little Will is here too... we'll see more of him in future stories, I hope, along with certain others... :)

The decision to give them a Craftsman home - blame that on the beautiful one that is shown as the Eppes' home in Numb3rs.

Keep an eye out for more? And please review! ^.^

RK9.


	10. Author's note for MadPie

Put this up in response to a review from MadPie, whom I couldn't contact...

MadPie, thanks so much for liking this fandom enough to want to write something for it. Unfortunately, I think reviews have a limited amount of words, so if there's more to your story, I don't know... seems it got cut off halfway? I would be honored to put up your story for you if you do not wish to create an account here... just email me the story? Attach it to an email or email the whole thing to me at taeshan9466(at)hotmail(dot)com, putting the usual signs where stated... and of course remove the brackets. :) I hope to hear from you soon.

If anyone else would like to try their hand at writing for this AU, please feel free to contact me. There is a community for this AU, you can find it if you go to my profile.

Thanks,

RK9.

PS - If anyone is wondering why they haven't heard from me in weeks, well, uni has gotten a lot busier and finals are getting closer. I haven't been able to work on my fics for ages and it's driving me crazy. . Sorry, but i am trying my best! Working on the first short story in this AU and on the CSI: NY story I started in the same AU... and on my LOTR fic as well! Thanks for understanding!


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